chronicles of bittersweet cokelat

..:: CHoCoLaTe AnYOnE? ::..

2008-02-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. yum, yum.. sedapnye makan cekelat vochelle almond dark choc neh.. hmm, yum, yum.. fantabulously delicious! Nak??? G beli sendiri.. hehehe

Dah lama tak tulis.. tak yah tulislah reason kenapa tak tulis.. as usual, jawapannye sure sebab byk menda nak wat aka bz memanjang.. huh.. mcmla org lain nak heran pun kalau aku tulis ke tak kan? and macam ler ada org nak baca apa aku tulis pun kan? hehe

Ok, by the way.. nak habaq la y i tgh makan cekelat malam ni.. ada sebabnya.. i tengah celebrate.. nope, it's not my b'day today peeps.. tp, my b'day mmg just around the corner pun.. within a few days to b exact.. k, back to the story.. i tengah celebrate my weight loss achievement.. I LOST 4 KG within one month!! yey! mmg patut celebrate pun kan? ;-)

Aiyoh, i've been battling with my weight for the longest time dawh.. hmm, cuma skrg nih baru nak menampakkan result yg memberangsangkan.. so, i'm really2 happy! tapi, i still got a long way to go..

To those yg mmg overweight, i paham perasaan u all seme.. As a matter of fact, i pun pernah overweight sgt2.. dua kali pulak tuh.. bukan setakat overweight tau tp dah tahap obesiti melampau.. huhu.. pernah bulat sebulat-bulatnya i.e over 100kgs.. huhuhu.. and that was in 2004.. pastu turun 20kgs.. pastu naik balik to 98kgs.. pastu turun lagi 30kgs.. pastu naik balik 10kgs.. pastu skrg nih baru dpt turun balik 4kgs.. huhuhu.. penat tau.. naik, turun, naik, turun.. hopefully lepas nih, turun, turun and tak naik2 lagi.. menten jer...

hmm, kalo ckp pasal health, kata kakak aku 'mmg boleh dpt pentauliahan lah aku nih'.. itu kata dia k.. but, i did do my research.. and now i know what works and what doesn't work for me.. :-) the main thing is, it's really2 up to us.. kalau kita betul2 nak lose weight, insyaAllah, akan berjaya jugak akhirnya.. takde siapa yg dpt ubah nasib diri kita melainkan diri kita sendiri.. and this goes for everything.. kerja ke, perangai ke, relationship ke.. apa2 yg mendtg di masa hadapan.. sebab yg lepas dah pun berlalu, takleh nak buat apa2 lagi melainkan belajar dr pengalaman silam..

hmm.. dah.. aku nak sambung balik makan cekelat tu sebelum ianya masuk angin.. hehe

..:: i'm ST.iLL W.ai.T.iNg ::..

2007-09-16T17:12:00.001+08:00

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
but the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light and the stillness, the dancing.
T.S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)
Source: Four Quartets

Tengah kemas2.. selak2 paper Sun, terjumpa ngan artikel neh.. this girl is actually tired of everything that's happening in her life.. yerlahkan, kalo dok kat KL neh asyik sibuks jer.. mcm aku jugak.. dah berapa saturday & sundays i had spent time in the office.. shucks.. mmg takder life!!

Hmm, dat's y i do things that i wanna do and i know some people will think that i'm wasting my time.. well at least i know i'm doing the right thing and now i feel happy with my life.. more confident with myself.. so in the end, i just don't have to explain why i do such things.. as long as i know dat i'm doin' the right thing and HE is there to witness me.. itu dah cukup..

p/s: the poem is part of the article tuh.. i loved the first four lines.. wait with patience..

..:: M.O.V.E ::..

2007-09-16T16:51:00.000+08:00

Hari nih bila masa seme org rehat kat rumah or g ke bazar ramadhan mencari juadah or yg tido kat umah sebab penat pose.. aku pulak? aku kat opis.. bukan atas dasar kerajinan atau kerna aku mmg kena keje hari nih atau sebab2 laen yg sewaktu dengannyer..

Ekceli esok will be an interesting day for me.. i'm moving to a new work location and doing sumthing new - which finally relates to what i studied in uni.. so nyer, hari nih atas dasar keterpaksaan.. namun masih lagi atas kerelaan hati.. aku pun ada kat ofis, sorg2.. sambil2 mengemas, sambil2 dengar lagu, sambil2 menaip kat sini..

Taking a break from packing.. Urgh, won't it be easier if I can be like the sketch above.. bila pindah jer aku buang seme brg2 aku and g tempat baru mintak pulak brg2 baru.. hehehe.. sure org ckp "ape kejadahnyer awak wat camtuh.. buang tabiat ker? ingat opis nih bapak engko yg punyer?" hehe..

Takde citer nak citer.. Yg penting, aku ada keje lagi nak wat.. sempat ke idak nak abeskan hari nih, x to ler.. buat aje la...

..:: Se.La.MaT BeR.Pu.aSa ::..

2007-09-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

Hari ni dah nak masuk empat hari kita berpuasa dan rasanya blom lagi terlewat tuk ku wish everyone selamat berpuasa dan moga ramadhan kalian kali ni lebih bermakna...

..:: wel.co.me.ba.ck ::..

2007-08-10T01:53:00.000+08:00

it's been months since the last time i wrote in this blog of mine.. maaf ya pembaca2 sekalian.. [ada ke pun yg baca].. gue bukannya menyepi dong, tp enggak bisa nulis.. kebelakangan ini gue capek sekali.. langsung tak dpt menulis di sini.. huhu, mcm ler pandai pun ckp indon.. nak nonton sinetron pun jarang sekali..

owh, btw.. mmg i bz sgt.. these past few months mmg hidup penuh ngan aktiviti.. dat's y i tak tulis.. but, rasa tuk menulis, mengarang, mengeluarkan idea dan pendapat serta perasaan terpendam dlm lubuk ati tuh tetap ada.. mmg rindu sgt2.. i miss u my blog... huhu, kalau blog nieh orang sure dia epi punye sbb ada gak org yg rindu, tak gitu?.. tp, bukan aar.. hehe.. :-P

k la.. i pun bukan nak tulis pepjg.. nak tido maa.. esok wa keje la.. apa2 pun yg penting i'm back.. n i miss my blog.. huhu..

c ya in my next post.. :-)

..:: HE Knows ::..

2007-03-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

Allah knows everything that you have gone through
All the happiness and joy you felt
All the sadness and sorrows you had
Allah knows...

When you feel like the world is caving in on you
And you feel so alone and no one cared
Allah knows...

Whatever you're feeling inside
All the good memories and not forgetting the bad
Allah knows...

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In times of distress, recite this Du-a:
‘La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka, inni kuntu minaz-zalimin'
(there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer)
source: The Islamic Workplace
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p/s: alhamdulillah, syukur alhamdulillah, aku dah kembali spt biasa.. "Ya Allah, tiada daya upaya melainkanMU, Ya Allah.. yg Maha Besar, Maha Berkuasa atas segala sesuatu.. "

..:: words are just words right? ::..

2007-03-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

Pernah tak hadapi situasi macam nih...

"Kau ni kenapa bangang sangat aaahh??"

"Ey, salah la macam tu... Eiii, tak reti2 ke nak buat betul-betul??"

"Kau nih memang tak guna.. memang s%^&&^!!!!!"

First of all, sowwy sebab intro nyer terkasar sket.. bunyi macam tengah marah kan?? Eh, i'm not mad okay? Bukan aku yg tgh marah nih.. aku okay, relax aje nih.. cuma nak mulakan bercerita...

Rasa2nyer mesti kita pernah alami situation macam nih kan?? Terguris tak hati kita kalau ada orang yg ckp macam tu kat kita? Lebih-lebih lagi kalau kata2 tuh terkuar dari mulut org yg kita sayang? Mesti pedih hati kita.. Emm, kalau sekali-sekala tu, maybe boleh consider kots.. tu pun kalau boleh tahan tuk bersabar.. tp kalau dah makan tahun, bertahun-tahun lamanya, boleh tak kita nak sabar?? larat ke lagi kita dikutuk dan dihina begitu sekali??

Emm, kalau lah pulak ada org yg cakap camtuh kat parents kita?? sedih tak rasanya?? mesti sedeykan?? Lebey2 lagi kalau ada org ckp camtuh kat ibu sendiri. Tak ker org tu sedar dia telah mengguriskan hati ibunya?? Walaupun dia tak berniat mcm tuh in the first place.

Orang yg tgh marah, selalunya takkan sedar apa yg dia cakap atau apa yg dia buat. Dia hanya mengikut apa yg emosi dia cakap. Ikut hati dan perasaan..

Orang yg kena marah mungkin akan membalas balik, atau mungkin akan diam.. depending on the person..

Emm, to the angry person.. he/she will say something, some words that will actually destroy the other person.. The person who gets scolded, will either discard those words from his/her mind or will absorb 'em like a sponge..

Words are just words.. but words can be mightier than the sword.. it can actually diminish a person's mind and self worth, bringing that person down to the pits of depression...

Why don't we try to control our temper? Don't be angry. Be more patient. Our words may impact others. Place ourself in their shoes...think of how they would feel when we utter such words..

p/s: Ingatlah, syurga terletak di bawah tapak kaki ibu... peringatan tuk diri sendiri juge.

..:: crazy am i not or am i just unwell ::..

2007-03-02T18:56:00.000+08:00

sometimes, there are just moments where i can't control my emotions and my thoughts..
i'll get this downward spiral feelings injected into my head..
my mind will get all messed up and feeling of lost and despair will set in..
just thought that i might be going crazy...
whatever it is, i'm still not feeling so well right now... :-(

UNWELL - Matchbox20

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on, feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown, and I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Me, I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something

Wrong with me, out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

..:: Sad, Sorrow Thots ::..

2007-03-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

As I sat alone in the dark
Sadness came and crept into my heart
I tried to ignore it as best as I could
But it grew, stronger than it should
My mind is clouded, I could not think clear
I felt so lost and just wished that I'd disappear
Feeling of hurt infused into every inch of my soul
Now the sorrow and grief has taken control
.
.
I tried so hard not to cry, but the tears just kept rolling by
.
.
I know.. the pain is still there.. somewhere deep inside..
.
.
I know.. the feeling of unwanted.. the feeling of unloved..
.
.
I know.. how it feels to be different.. how it feels to be ignored..
.
.
…....................... where is the love when I needed the most?

..:: six weird things - weird ke? ::..

2007-02-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!!!! tsk, tsk... I really had the sixth-sense that I'm gonna get tagged someday, somehow.. yikes and it's true. Actually, I've been reading RotiKcgMerah's blog (she's the sista of my BFF).. and dia pun telah men'tagg'kan adiknyer which is FaRHizeTWisTeD (my BFF) and si Fahy nih pulak ngan berbesar hati telah menge'tag' kat aku. aiyahh.. :P

So, I need to list down SIX WEIRD THINGS bout myself. Aiseyman, aper menda lah aku nak tulis neh??? Selepas mengkaji secara mendalam kat diri aku, inilah menda2 pelik yg aku buat selama neh.. (maybe weird to some, but normal to others).. teehee.. do have a good read and lemme know if it's weird.

Nota: Pengakuan yg benar neh, benar sebenar-benarnya.. tiada yg benar melainkan benar semata-mata.. ini menjawab kpd tambahan rules yg dibuat oleh mrFarhy.. :-)

1. My Fetish with Pharma-Pharm
I have an obsession with pharmacy and anything that has to do with it... teehee :P. If I go to shopping malls it's a must for me to visit at least one pharmacy, either it be Watsons or Guardian. Tak beli apa2 puuuunnnn takpe, tp mesti kena gi jugak or else rasa cam tak complete aje my outing for that day. I could spend hours just browsing tru the products on display. tzee..

Belum abes lagi nih. If I read the papers, I'll always be on the lookout for the advertisements from these two particular pharmacies. Then, I'll compare the prices and buy only the cheaper ones lor. During sales, I'll stock up on the items that are on discounted price (always, always, always.. budget in mind u). heh.. In the end, I'll have a small inventory of items that I need. :) (tak yah ler haku fenin2 nak search hi-n-lo bila aku run out of sumthing nanti.. get it?).

Lastly, the very best thing that I anticipate coming December. Yes! The booklets from Watsons and Guardian. uih, best! best! best! I'll get this thrilling sensation each time I get the booklets (ala, yg tunjuk promotional items masa bulan 12 tuh). Nanti pagi2 before gi keje, aku selak2 suratkhabar dulu nak amek booklet tuh, and I'll make sure that no one touches it before I do. muahaha.

~Kak Lina selalu ejek aku sbb ada stok cam kat pharmacy tp nanti when she runs out of sumthing, aku punye jugak ler yg dia nak amek.. :P noti!

2. I can't live if living is without you, owh tissue!
Everywhere I go and in everything that I do, I'll always carry this thing around.. my trusted pocket tissue. :) Aku mmg takley survive la kalo takde tisu. Once upon a time masa kecik2, aku selsema, pastu tak bawak tisu.. Adoi!! kat mana lagi nak lap idung yg dah berair tuh?? huhuhu.. nak tak ndak aku guna tangan pastu aku lap kat baju sekolah.. eeeewww... mmg ler geli sgt.. yikes! Sejak dari tuh, I vowed to always bring pocket tissues with me. Tisu bukan sebarang tisu. Right now brand yg aku paling2 suka is Royal Gold ~ Luxurious Interleaf Hanky, comes in 3-Ply (10sheets).

~Kengkawan aku ler yg paling suka sbb dorg leh pow aku nyer tisu bebila dorg nak. :P bila korg nak beli korg nye sendiri?? heh, kiddin'

3. McD's french fries with choc sundae.. i'm lovin it! muahs!
Buat aku menda neh mmg rasa yummylicious sangat, sangat, saaannnggaaattt... McDonald's french fries yg panas2 tuh dicelup dalam chocolate sundae. Chocolate okay? No other flavour.. tiada kompromi. Yum, yum, yum.. just the thought of it makes my mouth all watery laaa.. But, rite now I cannot indulge in this delectable mixture. huhuhu, sedey siots.. (ada la reasons nyer, tak perlu tau :P)

~my nephew, muhammad dah follow Da-Da's footsteps dah. Kalo gi McD mmg sohih mengorder fries with sundae choc and oso nuggets. Pastu, mula la sessi dippin mendippin the fries and nuggets into the sundae.. buat cam cecah sos ajer... give it a try! nanti addicted.. heh.

4. Pandang2, aku Jeling2, tapi....
Benda neh aku mmg takleh nak buat. Kalau aku buat gak, nanti secara otomatik aku akan rasa a very sharp pain kat mata aku pastu naik sampai ke kepala and buatkan aku tarus fenin-fenin.. mendanyer? aku takley Jeling! Serious, I'll feel the pain and get a headache each time. Tp, takde la aku nak buat kat sesaper pun. Cuma try mengeksperimen kat diri sendiri je. Sebab jeles tengok adik aku ieja, boleh jeling2 sokmo..

~Tak aci, tak aci.. aku pun nak jeling gak once in a while...

5. Mirror, mirror on the wall... why eye don't see you at all...
Ini aku rasa mmg aku weirdo.. Ada masa2 tertentu, when I stand in front of a mirror, I can't make eye contact with myself. Aku takley nak buat eye-to-eye connection. Neh aku pun tak tau apa hal leh jadik lagu ni? So, kalau tiba aje masa2 gini, aku akan pandang kat tempat lain. No way aku nak pandang mata aku sendiri. Contohnyer, aku siap2 pakai tudung cepat2 tanpa pandang kat mata aku.. tengok kat tudung tuh.. and bila nak pakai make up, aku pakai small mirror or use the mirror in the compact powder supaya aku tak yah nak tengok mata aku. Pelikkan?

~I've just experienced it today. Menda nih on and off, kejap ada kejap takde.. mmg mysteriously weird!

6. I ALONE Love You... I ALONE Tempt You...
Neh mmg perangai aku yg paling2 weird... i'll frequently separate myself from people.. gilos??!! heh.. K, ada masa2 tertentu, eyy.. rasanya most of the time aku akan isolate kan diri dr orang, orang dan orang... erk? bukan aku ada problem ngan sesaper pun.. takdelah.. just suke-suki nak menyendiri and dah terbiasa kots. Contohnyer, kalau masuk bilik and ada org kat dlm bilek, i will just enter the room and get the things that I need and then gi dok kat tempat lain. Ini baru satu part..

There are times when I just lurve to take walks on my own.. heh, aku pun baru aje jalan sengsorg siang tadik.. lepas gi visit my fren at KL Sentral, singgah kat KLCC, then balik rumah jalan kaki sorg2.. dlm 20 minit jer. Dah lama tak buat camnih, so ari neh rasa best semacam aje.. tzee, jln kaki sorg2 pun ley jadik best???!! Tak kisah ler apa org nak kata, tp bagi aku mmg best sebab masa nilah aku leh lost in my own world.. :) crazee!

Owh, ya.. FYI menda neh dah biasa dibuat dan diamalkan drpd waktu time2 sekolah menengah dolu2. Al-maklumlah bila dah naik form two, kenalah pandai2 balik dari sekolah asrama kat Seremban tuh sendiri bila time cuti. yelah, abah tak ndak amek aku kat TKC kalo cuti pendek, mmg kenalah naik bas SKS tuh sendiri. So, when I arrived at Puduraya and usually it's a Friday kan, time tuh around 4-5pm, dah jem pun.. Nak naik cab, takmo bazir duit and tak suka nak buat small talk ngan pokcik cab tuh.. Nak suh org amek, takde saper pun nak amek. So, aku pun decided tuk jalan kaki dari Puduraya ke rumah aku kat area Kompleks Kraf skang nih. Jauh tuh... dalam 5 kilometer kots. Dengan beg yg digalas kat bahu, aku jalan le sorg2 menapak langkah demi langkah hingga sampai kat rumah. Bila sampai aje kat rumah and tukar aje baju, nampak kesan merah2 kat bahu.. heh. cam sedey siots.. huhuhu.. tu pasal la jugak bahu aku senget sebelah.. teehee.

~rasa2nya pernah dua kali jalan kaki dlm hujan.. abes semua basah kuyup
~'til now still suke bangat jalan kaki sorg2.. emm, pasnih maybe aku leh buat walkathon jauh2 sket eyy.. heh.. bagi le cadangan dari KL ke mane??

Fiiiuuhh. Abes jugak akhirnye selepas penat memikir. Now it's my turn to tag others. teehee.. and Who will it be?? Who are the lucky ones?? Drum roll pleassseeeee...

OKay, I wanna tag Ubisetela, She Doesn't Like Mondays, Azian, Efie, Striker and PakDuk. Citer jangan tak citer k?? ;-)

Rules of the game: Each player of this game starts out by telling 6 weird things about themselves on their own blog, as well as state the rules clearly. At the end, you will need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list out their names. After you do that, leave them a comment on their blogs letting them know you tagged them.

Additional Rule from mrFarhy: kalau tak jawab bedosa, kalau menipu lagi bedosa besarrrrr...

p/s: saper yg dah kena tag ngan aku tuh, do be a sport and list down ur weirdness k? nak sgt tau nih.. teehee.

..:: too close to disaster ::..

2007-02-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

Firman Allah:
Sesungguhnya keadaan-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu hanyalah berfirman: "Jadilah!" maka terjadilah ia. (surah Yaasiin, ayat 82)

Aku masih lagi terkejut dgn kejadian yg berlaku semalam. Selepas solat isyak tadi, jari-jemari tangan dan kakiku rasa sejuk sekali. Jantungku berdegup dgn kuat dan sesekali rasa sakit pd dada. Gambaran peristiwa cemas yg kulalui masih lagi bermain-main di ingatanku... apa2 pun aku bersyukur sgt2 kami semua terselamat.....

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We were supposed to depart from our house to Ipoh at 7.30am yesterday. Tp spt biasalah, bila plan tu tak semestinya jadi kan?? After dilly-dally here and there kitorg pun bertolak from our home nearly around 10.00am tuk gi Ipoh to attend a relative's wedding.

The car was driven by my big bro-Abg Shah, my big sis-Kak Lina sat at the co-pilot seat, my mum, my nephew-Muhammad and myself sat at the pasengger's seat at the back. Before bertolak, abg Shah dah letakkan Al-Quran terjemahan dekat atas dashboard depan cermin kereta pemandu. This is what he usually does if he travels far distances and normally abg aku mmg suka bawak Al-Quran terjemahannya tu ke mana2 kalau dia keluar. Mungkin nanti senang dia nak baca bila ada masa terluang. :)

Dah lebih dekat sejam dlm kereta, anak buah aku, Muhammad dah mula merengek-rengek sbb kelaparan. Dia tak breakfast b4 bertolak tadi. Nasib baik my mum dah bawak bekal roti sapu Nutella tuk dia makan. Tp kali nih dia takmo makan pulak. Puas dah aku pujuk suruh makan tp tak mau. Sibuk dia mintak nak makan nasi goreng cina. Sabar ajelah. Aku pun ckp kat dia lagi, "Muhammad, the shop is still far away. You need to eat something if not nanti perut Ahmad sakit.." Effort aku sia2 aje sebab dia still takmo makan.

Pastuh, abg aku pun trylah pulak pujuk dia suh makan. Being the only child dan anak yg manja, lepas aje kena pujuk ngan ayahnya, Muhammad terus ckp ok tp dgn syarat dia dpt duduk kat depan. :P (cheeky little boy) So, he went in front and sat on Kak Lina's lap sambil makan roti dengan riang-ria sekali. Abis aje makan, Ahmad decided to sit in front sbb nak tido kat depan.. sibuk aje budak kechik nih.. :P

There were lots of cars on the road. Maklumlah, dah cuti CNY kan.. it was as expected pun. Tp, okay la takde jem ke apa. Abg Shah was driving on the right lane and within the speed limit. (rasa2nya around 100km/hr.. yelah tak berani nak bwk laju2 sbb ada byk polis buat rondaan kali nih). Kereta mmg byk, bertali-arus.

Then suddenly.... abg Shah ckp, "Astaghfirullah hal azim.."

Aku yg tgh rileks bersandar kat blkg terus terbangun dari seat. From the corner of my eyes, aku ternampak sebuah kete warna hitam kat sebelah kiri cermin tingkap (remember, we were driving on the right lane). Aku pun terus aje tengok kete tuh..

Gila punye laju!!!!.. dah ler tadi dia potong sebelah kiri pastu dia try pulak nak overtake kete kat depan dia. The black car cuba nak masuk lane sebelah kanan balik which is the space right in front of our car in the lane that we were on. Tp tak boleh sbb mmg tak cukup tuk dia masuk..

Next, dgn tak semena-mena the black car tuh brake to slow-down sbb baru terperasan agaknyer kete depan yg dia cuba nak potong tuh is a POLICE pajero (jeep isuzu polis trafik warna putih). Then, within a split-second... the police jeep pun brake jugak and the black car memotong jeep police tuh tp kete hitam tuh tak terlepas memotong jeep tersebut....

"BOOOOOMMMMM!!!..." Kete hitam tuh dah berlanggar dgn jeep polis, terkena blkg bontot jeep polis di sebelah kanan. The jeep melambung dari jalan raya dan berpusing-pusing sebyk tiga, empat kali sebelum terbabas tepi highway. Aku terkejut melihat apa yg berlaku. Tak sangka jeep polis yg sebesar-besar itu boleh melambung mcm kete mainan. The black car was still moving....... After that, it seemed like everything else went into a slow-motion mode... apa yg aku nampak ada serpihan-serpihan dari perlanggaran tersebut melayang-layang ke udara.. ada yang terbang dan nyaris2 nak terkena our window screen..

Bukan itu sahaja.. there was a white colored car in front of us (tak ingat kete apa), kete tuh dah terlanggar bumper yg terpelanting dr kete yg eksiden tadik.. the white car was out of control and berpusing ke sebelah kiri (lebey dr angle 45 darjah) and the side of the car was facing us.. bontot kete tuh sipi2 dah nak kena divider kat tgh2 highway..

Aku mmg dah mula panik.. sebab masa tuh kete kitorg pun tgh bergerak jugak... Aku khuatir kereta kami akan berlanggar pulak dgn kereta putih yg kat depan tuh... "Ya Allah! tolonglah kami.. selamatkanlah kami!", aku hanya sempat berbisik kat dlm hati.. Tekak aku jadik kering.. jantung aku berdegup kencang.. Aku tergamam... dan aku rasa org lain dlm kete pun sama dgn aku.

Aku tak berapa ingat exactly selepas tuh.. tp alhamdulillah, the white car regained control and dpt pusing balik and moved on.

Abg Shah slowed-down and drove the car to the side of the road. All of us in the car was silent for a few seconds which felt like hours. Then, Kak Lina broke the silence... "Abg Shah, cepat, cepat, pegi tolong polis tuh..." sebab dah terperasan yg tiada org lain pun nak membantu.

Dari tempat duduk, aku menoleh ke belakang.. jeep polis tuh berada lebih kurg 50 meter di belakang tempat kami berhenti. Jeep tuh dah terbalik dan keempat-empat rodanya dah mengadap langit. Tak nampak pun orang yg kuar dari jeep tuh.

Abg Shah pun kuar dari kete dan mula nak lari ke arah jeep tuh. Tp, dia patah balik utk ambik handphone. Kemudian dia berlari balik ke arah jeep tuh. Abg Shah sorg aje yg pegi ke arah jeep tersebut.

Aku pun kuar dari kete utk melihat situasi yg berlaku. Kaki aku masih rasa shaky, tangan aku menggeletar, berdebar-debar rasa dada aku.. Masih tak nampak rupa manusia yg keluar dari jeep tersebut. "Ya Allah! Kau selamatkanlah mereka" tak henti2 aku pk pasal mangsa kemalangan tersebut. Bagaimana kalau mereka tak lagi bernyawa?

Abg Shah pun sampai kat tempat jeep polis tuh. Masa nih, takde orang lain pun yg berhenti untuk tolong. Kereta2 lain mmg byk sgt on the road. The cars only slowed down to view what's going on and moved on. Kenapa takde org nak berhenti?? Kenapa takde org lain nak tolong?? Kenapa?? Is it becoz it's a police car?? Pelik jugak rasanya...

Then, aku nampak abg Shah pegi dekat side driver tuh and meninjau keadaan mangsa. Alhamdulillah, ternampak sorg anggota polis kuar dari bahagian pemandu. Then, my brother went to the other side, another policeman came out from the jeep. To my surprise, one of the policeman yg baru aje kena eksiden tuh, boleh lagi pegi kat tepi highway tu and meniup wisel tuk suruh kereta-kereta yg kat jalan tuh to move on. Adoi, dah tercedera pun masih lagi nak jalankan tugas.. (macam dah kena brain-washed aje dorg nih-spt kata Kak Lina).

Aku pun terpandang pada kete hitam yg berhenti beberapa jarak di hadapan kereta kami. Rupa2nya itu adalah kete hitam yg melanggar jeep polis tuh (nampak kesan kemek pada bahagian depan kiri kete tuh). Dan aku jugak dpt tengok pemandu kete tuh kuar diikuti dgn penumpang2 lain. Oh, org berbangsa 'C' rupanya. Dorg pun berdiri kat tepi saja. After a few moments, the driver walked to the police jeep... (what happened to the rest will be written at the bottom as told by Abg Shah)

Kak Lina, my mum, muhammad and myself just waited for everything to be settled. In the end, syukur Alhamdulillah sangat2 kami semua terselamat....

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As told by Abg Shah.....
Abg Shah sampai kat tempat jeep tuh terbalik. Dia asyik terpk kalau2 ada oil leaking from the jeep sebab ada probability tuk jeep tuh meletup ke ape... Abg Shah cakap dia nampak semua barang2 dlm jeep tuh bertaburan kat merata-rata tempat. He went to the driver's seat and tengok polis tuh okay and menolong polis tuh kuar dari jeep.

Then, dia gi pulak kat co-pilot punya side.. Polis tuh menumbuk tingkap jeep tuh dengan tangannya. Dia pun kuar dari jeep tersebut dan dia genggam tangan dia ntuk menumbuk Abg Shah sebab dia pk Abg Shah yg telah langgar jeep dorg.

Abg Shah pun ckp, "Tolong, tolong encik.. bukan saya yang langgar kereta encik.. Saya nak tolong saje.."

Ntah, abg Shah cakap.. bila dah kena camtuh agaknye, polis tuh jadik blur and tarus naik angin. Tambah pulak dia jenis baran. After a few minutes, baru polis tuh sedar apa yg sebenarnya terjadik kat dia.

Tp, that's not the case with the driver in the black car who came to the crash site. Dia pun dah nak kena tumbuk ngan polis tuh sebenarnya. Nasib baik ada abg aku yg jadik mediator. Abg Shah pun suruh driver tuh pegi balik kat kete dia dulu and biar dia ckp ngan polis tuh. huhuhu, Abg Shah jadik HERO lah pulak... :)

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Behind the scenes...

-Abg Shah istighfar sebab dah ternampak kete hitam tuh menyelit-nyelit dan memotong kenderaan lain dengan laju from the rearview mirror.

-Kak Lina cakap masa dia nampak serpihan2 dari kete yg kena eksiden tuh melayang and nak terkena kete kitorg, dia dah tutup mata dia and tutup sekali muka Muhammad sebab tak ndak bagi Muhammad tengok.

-Abg Shah cakap dia pun tertutup sikit mata dia masa ternampak benda2 tuh melayang, tindakan refleks katanya.

-Aku sorg aje yg tengok eksiden tuh dan menda2 yg melayang tanpa tutup2 mata and aku boleh diam aje walaupun dlm hati, Allah sahaja yg tau betapa cemas nyer aku waktu tuh (adoi, tak sangka aku camtuh.. usually kalau apa2 aku yg paling cepat panik and cepat sekali menjerit!)

-Aku macam ingat2 lupa apa yg berlaku kat kete hitam exactly selepas perlanggaran tuh sebab tengah betul2 tengok kat arah depan window screen kete kitorg.

- Ada lagi satu kete in front of the police jeep which was a grey mercedes. Kete nih pun okay sebab nampak kete nih berhenti on the road side after the accident.

-Kete putih in front of ours tuh jalan terus after the accident and tak berhenti pun.

-Aku ngan family aku semua dah tak tertahan nak gi toilet lepas abes aje accident tuh. Tindakan spontan rasanya.:P

-Smsed ieja, adik aku.. dia cakap kalaulah ada camcorder waktu tuh, boleh aje record the whole thing... :P, mana nak tau jadik lagu tuh adik oii..

-Syukur alhamdulillah kitorg semua selamat and kereta pun tak kena apa2.. mungkin sebab Abg Shah bawak Al-Quran dlm kereta tuh sekali..

-Kitorg tengah dengar nasyid Yusuf Islam and one of Muhammad's fav song when the accident happened.

-Maybe it's fated that kitorg bertolak lambat and Abg Shah supposed to help out in this incident

-Agaknya, polis2 tu terselamat becoz dorg pakai seat belt. Kalau idak, sure dorg dah terpelanting kuar dari jeep tuh.

-Kak Lina cakap, sure org dlm kereta2 lain yg passed by cakap lebey kurg gini.. "Haa, tengok tuh.. polis pun bawak laju2.. dah eksiden pun.. haaa, baru padan muka.." hehehe... akak aku nih pandai pulak buat skrip.. :P

-Abg Shah, Kak Lina ngan aku pelik naper rakyat mesia tak berhenti right after accident tuh?? Dorg nih tak berperikemanusiaan ke?

-Ada 2, 3 org yg dtg nak tolong lebey kurg 45 mins after the accident. Tp, itu org yg tolong sebab nak buat duit punye.. (i know coz they used walkie-talkie and usually depa nih keja ngan bengkel repair kete punya.. 'call man' kan?)

-Abg Shah mcm polis pulak suruh kete2 yg gerak on the road tuh berhenti kejap sebab dia nak kutip serpihan2 menda yg terpelanting kat atas jalanraya

-Nasib baik the jeep landed on tanah merah. Kalau termasuk ditch or gaung, tak taulah macam mana.

-The place which the accident occurred was somewhere after Tanjung Malim.

-Accident tuh happened dekat selekoh jalan.. maybe contributed to the impact yg jeep tuh melambung..

-The incident that happened mmg macam dalam movie, i tell u..

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p/s: going to be one of my unforgettable memories.

..:: i'll be alright ::..

2007-02-11T13:22:00.000+08:00

A beautiful song by the incredible-looking-and-stunning ANGGUN. I wud like to dedicate this song to those of u out there who had experienced or currently experiencing the heart ache phase in ur life (like urs truly.. in the past..) with a msg U'll B Alrite...

Tell me is it worth the pain
When your pride plays the wrong game
Blinded by suspicious mind
Thought you could
Ruled my heart and crossed the line

In everything you see
Keep everything but me

Though my broken heart, tear my dreams apart
I’ll be alright, I’ll be alright

Just a broken heart, not a war to fight
I’ll be alright, I’ll be alright

Keep that bad taste in your mouth
Have your truth stay on your side
Unleash all your demons free
Cause they’ve been hide in
All that you’ve refused to see

Take everything but me

Though my broken heart, tear my dreams apart
I’ll be alright, I’ll be alright

Just a broken heart, not a war to fight
I’ll be alright, I’ll be alright

All fears aside, I’ll be alright

Through the years, many tears
I have wasted
I’ve moved on, moving on
Can’t erase, can’t replace
What I’ve tasted
Life goes on and on

p/s: Luv ANGGUN n luv this song coz everything describes what i had gone thru..

..:: in pursuit of happiness ::..

2007-02-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

Previously, I used to think that I can only be happy when I was in love with that 'special someone'. But, after had gone through months of single hood, I am definitely wrong on those thoughts. I now know exactly that I can be happy by myself, doing my own things and making ME happy. Alhamdulillah.

List of things that make me happy... :-)

to know that I'm being monitored by the superior higher power which is Allah the almighty, 24/7, 365days/year.. 'til the end of my journey.
to wake up in the mornings and just glad to be alive so that I can do something useful for the day.
to have food, clothes, and a roof over my head.. just the basic necessities.
to be surrounded by wonderful people in my life who are my family and close friends which I truly love with all my heart.
to catch the rays of the morning sun when I'm off to work.
to be occupied with work which gives me satisfaction when I get to complete each tasks.
to be able to have conversations and share my thoughts with others.
to try and take good care of myself spiritually, emotionally and healthily.
to be able to write my thoughts in this blog.
and the list goes on...

I was trying to look for a good definition of happiness and I came accross this one (below) which I totally agree...

Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run. (This definition of happiness by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy)

..:: two-007 bandung trip - Pt. 1 ::..

2007-02-01T17:02:00.000+08:00

This is not my first time going to Bandung, Indonesia. I went there last year with my family and a few of close family-friends. Last year punye trip mmg best. We did the whole sight-seeing thingy. We went up to the mountains of Tangkuban Perahu. The view was really spectacular. First time dpt experience melawat area gunung berapi, cuma tak tahanlah ngan bau sulfur yg menusuk idung..

On top of Tangkuban Parahu -- look at the sulfuric smokes

We also went to the hot springs. A few of us took a dip in the hot, almost like temperature-boiling water. Aku aje yg tak masuk mandi sbb tak suka panas dowh. (teringat pulak masa form 2 kena jadik bahan uji kaji celup tgn dlm air panas & air sejuk..tsk tsk..)

Hot Springs @ Tmn Rekreasi Sari Ater

***********************************************************************

K, that was last year. This time around my sisters (big sis: Nana & younger sis: ieja) and i went to Bandung for the second time. We were also joined by ieja's friend, Ainee and her two aunties (Mak Lang and Mak Nyang). Ainee followed us last year. So, the six of us, all girls/ladies/women pergilah ke Bandung with one mission in mind which is SHOPPING!!! he he he..

Yeah, apart from the tourist spots, this place is also a paradise for shoppers coz there r lots and lots of factory outlets. Kalo kat mesia kan ada Reject Shop or F.O.S. shj.. and summore kat sini choices are very2 limited. Tapi kat Bandung, ada byk sesgt factory outlets.. Mostly yg jual branded stuff, mainly apparels la.. i.e, Guess, Esprit, Moschino, Armani, Polo, 7 Jeans.. to name a few. (ada byk lagi dowh).. all u need to bring is ur $$$$$$ or credit cards.. and oso a big suitcase to fill in the things that u have bought.. hehehe, talking from experience nih.

1st day - 22/01/07
Our flight from LCCT @ KLIA is at 7.35am.. can't do anything about it since there's only one flight to-and-fro KL-Bandung. Alamak, nak tak ndak kenalah bangun pagi. Sampai kat airport, we were greeted by Ainee and her aunties. Mulalah sesi suai-kenal gituh with her aunties.. cuma, kelakar coz Mak Lang really speaks fluent loghat Kedah.. She kept asking, "Nanti sampai sana kita pi market ka??" (market nih refers to kedai.. kedai apa2 pun dipanggil 'market'.. cheh, org Kedah terra ckp omputih nooo.. hehe). Aku yg dah lama tak berdialog dgn bahasa Kedah pun try my best to answer her.. sib baik che bolehlah cakap sikit2 nooo.. :-)

View from above -- M'sia's airspace after take off

The flight took us 2 hours. After gone thru the immigration and customs check, we collected our bags and kuar aje dr arrival hall tuh dah ada dah org to pick us up to the hotel. We had arranged earlier from m'sia to have the transportation to pick/drop us @ the airport. Owh, lagi satu.. airport dia nih kechik ajer..

The drive from the airport to the hotel was around 10 minutes aje. Kejap je kan? We stayed at Patra Jasa Hotel. Actually, kitorg tak tau nak pilih hotel yg mana satu kat Bandung nih (takleh nak gi hotel yg sama like last year coz the rate is really pricey.. some more kitorg xmo la spend a lot on accommodation pun). Just a few days before gi cuti tuh, ieja n i did a few search from the internet and came up with several hotels. Ainee did all the calling and most of the places were full. Lucky for us, Patra Jasa ada lagi a few rooms.. and tengok2 ada website pulak tuh kan.. so, pakai gamble aje la.. hehehe.

The hotel that we stayed -- Patra Jasa @ Bandung

Mmm, sesampai aje tengok2 hotel tuh mcm lebey kpd motel.. ala, like the ones u see in hollywood-type movies tuh.. hahaha.. mmg nak tergelaklah kitorg.. Tp, apa2 pun for us it was still acceptable. Ala, lagi pun kitorg nih bukan nak melepak lelama kat dlm bilik.. just nak tempat tido and mandi ajer kan?? hik hik..

After freshening up, kitorg pun bergegas kuar dari bilik utk meneruskan misi membeli-belah. Ieja as the Chief-de-Mission did all the inquiring on the public transportation and the places that we need to go for shopping. Fortunate for us since ieja mmg pintar ngomong bahasa indon.. so, apa2 menda yg nak ditanya ker mmg ieja yg akan in charge gituh.. (serepek sama lu ieja, da-da mmg x gheti la nak ckp indon.. maybe jarang2 nonton sinetron kot... unlike U.. hehe.. tp, beneficial kan?? ;-)) Actually, we already knew of a few places that we need to go from the trip last year.. so nak pegi ke tempat2 tuh semula plus a few other 'new' places.

Inilah ANGKOT

We decided to use the public transportation for the whole trip as our mode of moving about.. and the best and most cheapest way is to use the ANGKOT. Angkot is actually short-form for Angkutan Kota. It is actually a van turned-into a bus lah lebey kurg. Servis nye sama aje mcm bas kat mesia. The cheapest fare is Rupiah 1,000 which is RM0.40 ntuk jarak yg paling dekat and yg paling mahal pun Rupiah 2,500 (RM1.00) tuk yg paling jauh.. But it all depends on the pak drebar laa.. ada yg akan charge mahal sbb kita neh pelancong.. tp, mostly masa trip we all tuh takde la yg kena tipu pun.. (mmm, sbb adik aku kot yg pandai ngomong indon..hehe).

Best gak naik angkot. Dapatlah kitorg mingle ngan penduduk tempatan kat sinih. It is common for the drivers to stop and carik penumpang kat tepi2 jalan. If we stand at the road side, there'll be a few of the vans stopping by. Semuanya nak amek penumpang. Kekdg tuh, dorg sanggup tunggu sampai van tu penuh and then baru gerak. Bagus ek servis kat sinih. Tip-top gituh, van tuh pulak yg tunggu kita.. hehe. The drivers siap tekan2 hon lagi untuk tarik penumpang naik van dorg.

Neh foto2 yg sempat disnap dlm ANGKOT....

Ieja (on the left) & Ainee

Myself & Nana

Mak Lang (left) & Mak Nyang

alamak, i need to stop here peeps... belum lagi citer pasal shopping neh.. to be continued...

p/s: seriau ajer bila dengar bunyi rege seribu, dua ribu lima ratus masa naek Angkot tuh.. pada hal murah aje.. kee kee.. (seriau = takut, loghat Kedah)

..:: it's a small world ::..

2007-01-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought that having this blog makes no sense at all, the most surprising thing happened. Today, i am glad to be reunited with my long-lost friend ubisetela. Actually, she was the one who 'found' me. i'm still quite puzzled with the outcome of the whole situation.. but most of all i am really, really happy.. =)

p/s: i have to change my mind once again.. having this blog do make sense eventhough some people may consider it nonsense..

..:: RaLaT LaLaT ::..

2007-01-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

A correction to my previous post on Kebenaran Yg Menyusahkan.. CO2 is carbon dioxide peeps and NOT carbon monoxide.. sowwy, my bad.. hehe.. (carbon monoxide is CO) haha.. sure everyone knows 'bout this.. aku jer yg terblur sket.. :P

..:: Oooppss TeR-FOUR-JoT ::..

2007-01-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

Hari ni aku baru je masuk ofis after having had a 4 wunnerful-exhilarating-tiring-days away from mesia. Masuk2 aje pagi neh kat ofis, seme org dok tegoq aku sebab dah lama x nampak.. hikhik.. rasa fames kejap beb sebab dpt attention dari org2 yg windu kat aku spt kata dorg lah (betui ke dak che tak tau, kot2 rindu sbb aku tak dak nak tolong depa wat keja.. hehe :P.. adoi camna pulak leh melekat loghat utagha lak nih.. nih mesti kes lepaih melepak ngan 'mak lang' -- n who's mak lang?? ne-mind, u'll soon find out in mah next post...)

Eniwei, aku pun switch on ler PC yg dok elok2 atas workstation aku tuh... and spt kebiasaannya tertera la kat skrin tuh the msgbox prompting me to type in the password to login into the network. Oh-OoOoowh.. aku cuba nak recall aku nyer password.. tapi, tapi.. aku betul-betul takleh nak recall, aku takleh nak ingat langsung. ALAMAK!!! aku betul2 dah terlupa password... huhuhu.. terpaksalah aku kol org IT tuk mintak dorg reset akunyer password balik.. uih, buat malu jer.. terpaksalah mengexplain kenapa aku x ingat password. hikhik, betul2 ler aku nih dok syiok cuti sampai tak hingat langsung pasal keje..

p/s: baru je 4 hari gi cuti, kalo 2 minggu ke sebln ke, mesti lebey teruks.. ntah2 dah x ingat camne nak buat keje.. keekee.. :P

..:: An Inconvenient Truth - Trailer ::..

2007-01-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

This is the trailer for An Inconvenient Truth (following my previous post). Do view!

..:: KeBeNaRaN yg MeNYuSaHKaN ::..

2007-01-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

Baru2 nih, aku dapat tengok this one documentary film entitled "An Inconvenient Truth". It's not actually a movie, movie type thingy, more on a lecture type based on research findings that was presented by mr Al Gore (bekas VP US tuh). Anyway, the whole film was about global warming and it touches on the usage of carbon monoxide or CO2.

Okay, citer skrg ni yg aku amek from the movie is that penggunaan CO2 ni mmg dah di tahap yg melampaui batas... As a result, our climate dah jadik tunggang-langgang. This is simply because all the CO2 and other gases are trapped inside the earth's atmosphere which increases the temperature of the earth. When the earth's temperature rises, it also brings about other effects like the melting of the glaciers on the top of the snow capped mountains. Uih, ada dorang tunjuk gambar2 of a few mountains yg dulu ada byk glaciers but skrg nih tinggal ciput ajer.. Not only that, the ice on the Artic and Antartica are melting.. which also brings about the rising of the sea levels.. and in addition, when the sea level rises, all the areas around the coastal shores will be submerged in water.. aiyoo, very the scary.. mmg la depa dok tunjuk gambaran kat US tuh, but it could very well happen in Malaysia too.. mmm, skrg ni pun dah dok banjir kat Johor. Just imagine if that is going to happen for good.. nanti dah takde tempat dah nak tinggal.. or what if the whole country tenggelam?? isn't it scary?? wallahu'alam..

Apart from that, when the temperature increases, banyaklah jugak penyakit2 yg timbul i.e SARS, Malaria, Avian flu and memacam lagilah.. Sebabnya, musim panas akan lebey panjang daripada musim sejuk (nih utk negara 4 musim).. From the movie dia bagi example of this beetle bug yg suka makan pine trees.. Bila, suhu makin meningkat, musim sejuk akan jadik singkat and musim panas akan lebey panjang.. so, these insects akan ada jangka hayat yg lebey lama and akan attack all the pine trees yg ada.. jadiknyer makhluk perosak nih akan idup lebey lama.. contoh lagi, mosquitos yang dulunyer hanya dok melilau kat kawasan tanah rendah, skrg nih dah berani dah nak berterbangan kat kawasan tanah tinggi sebab suhu panas kat tanah tinggi yg membuatkan mereka boleh ke sana.. ouch, ouch.. kena gigit nyamuk lah pulak.. come on mr nyamuk, jangan gigit aku laa... ada byk lagi menda yg ko boley gigit.. nih idak gatai sangat nak cium2 orang.. huhuhu.. (ke laen lah pulak yer.. :P)

Ada lagi yg dorang story.. Ini pasal hurricane yg makin bermaharajalela kesan drpd global warming.. still remember hurricane katrina?? or yg baru2 nih.. taufan durian kan yg kena kat Filipina tuh.. Semuanya kesan dari kepanasan yg melampau.. Mmm, aku pun rasa cam percaya jugaklah menda2 nih berlaku sebab global warming.. (mmm, maybe lah kot) Dok tengok skrg nih pun cuaca mmg dah tak menentu.. Hari tu baca paper, ada few ski resorts kat overseas yg tutup because takde snow.. (ala, tak yah gi jejauh pun kan?? Kat mesia pun tak abis lagi pasal banjir kat Johor). Tp, tau dak pengguna CO2 yg paling byk sekali kat dunia nih - oghang2 amerika nih la.. ish, ish.. apalah dorg ni kan.. tau buat kerosakan aje kat dunia nih.. aiyoo, mr gore sendiri pun try to bawak issue nih masa dia nyer campaign tuk bertanding lawan bush.. tp, malangnya org dok kata it's a hoax.. they just want to ignore this issue and biarkan aje..

apa2 pun you have to see it for yourself utk percaya ke idak.. as for me, it really opened up my mind and made me think bout our environment.. about the future.. about people and how foolish, selfish and ignorant people can be.. ntah, after watching it rasa macam i really wanna do something to make this world a better place to live in.. mmm, maybe try not to exhale so much CO2 for a start... hehehe, just kidding.. :P

..:: WaSSuP, WaSSuP BeB?? ::..

2007-01-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yikes.. i know, i know.. it's been a while since i last updated my blog.. and i also know that i was supposed to start off writing bout my weight loss issue in my next post [which is this one lah!!] But, at this current moment, i really don't feel like writing it.. Nak kena ada inspiration la beb.. still waiting for that purfect timing.. hikhik.. takpe aahh, nanti aku story gak yer.. tunnnggguuuuu!!!

So, wassup with me?? nothing much really.. It's just that i've been very2 busy with work, woRK, WORK!! Since last saturday, i had to come to office and settle my work.. [tapi tak abis2 jugak... cam siots jer.. :P] and this week had to stayback in the office.. yesterday i stayed til 7.30pm and today dah berhajat nak stay lambat lagi dari semalam tp belum sempat apa2 around 7.45pm dah kena 'halau' ngan org office services sebab dorg nak kunci pintu opis [mmm, masa nih lah aku ingin sangat nak spare key opis neh.. macam kawan aku sorg tuh.. senang sikit kan, boley buat cam rumah sendiri.. hikhik.. boleh kuar masuk sesuka ati.. hahaha.. nanti betul2 feel like aku nih cam takde life.. owh, opisku, rumahku jua.. :P ] and esok, lusa pun camtuh jugakla kots.. Luckily this friday our office will be closed {Note: Opis aku kalo public holiday falls on saturday, hari jumaat mmg cuti.. yippee!! jangan jeles maa.. :P}

Mmm, sure korang dok pikiaq yang aku nih workaholic kan?? hikhik.. idak ler gitu.. Ekceli, next week ni aku nak amek cuti (4 days break). Nak gi somewhere with my two lovely sisters.. Itulah pasal yang bersemangat nak siapkan semua keje before i'm away.. Lagi pun, aku dah habaq kat boss dah yg dia toksah worry sebab aku akan make sure semua keje settle before aku bercuti.. huhuhu.. itulah, janji lagi.. skrg nih kena suffer sikitlah.. huhu.. and some more, skang nih tgh nak closing accounts for the month.. parah, parah.. sebab aku nak kena siapkan accruals before aku gi cuti.. huhuhu.. and another BIG HUHUHU!!!

kayla, aku pun takdak idea lagi nak story.. my brain dah penat.. aku nak pi tidoq awai sikit malam nih.. till l8r.. ciao cincau..

..:: Ze 1st WeeK iN Ze 1st MonTH of 2007 ::..

2007-01-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

Ahlan Wa-Sahlan, Welcome, Selamat Datang... whateva it is 2007 is here!!! I'm still not too late to wish everyone a very Happy New Year.. After 4 days in 2007, so far semuanya is smooth sailing for me.. alhamdulillah :-)

Resolusi?? oppss... Resolutions you might ask.. Aku sebelum2 nih mmg tak pernah nak letak sesuatu azam apabila sampai sahaja tahun baru.. Sebabnya, apa yg aku praktikkan sebelum ni ialah utk perbaiki diri pada setiap hari.. try to make my life better with each passing day.. But this year, terasa macam lain pulak.. rasa berkobar-kobar utk meletakkan target dan azam in writing.. (mmm, kenapa pulak yer?? mungkin sebab rasa epi aje sejak dua menjak nih.. hehehe.. )

Firstly, i do want my life to be better this year, in all aspects lor.. nak berusaha perbaiki segala kelemahan yg ada utk jadi yg lebey baik.. (insya Allah..) Try to understang, ehh.. understand & manage myself better.. yup, byk lagi yg nak kena aku usaha.. especially nak usaha utk manage my emotions dgn cara yg sepositif mungkin.. sebelum2 nih dah kena drill ngan menda2 negatif ajer.. aku pun tak ndak la asyik dok pikiaq menda2 yg buruk2, yg bukan2, yg buruk-sangka ke apa.. aku mmg nak tukar balik kepala otak nih dari negatif dan pesimis kepada positif dan optimis.. (insya Allah.. i really need to train my brain and use my mind power.. tuh-heehee )

Secondly, nak teruskan usaha aku utk kuruskan badan.. Emm, did i mentioned that last year i managed to lose 15 Kilograms? Yup, i really did.. with a lot of effort that is.. alhamdulillah, skang nih dah slim but i still wanna lose around +/- 10 kgs to reach my target weight and have a healthy BMI (right now my BMI is like a bit in the overweight range..) And oso, my sis Kak Lina for the many millionth time dok suruh aku write in my blog bout my weight loss journey.. supaya menjadik inspirasi bagi mereka2 yg mengalami masalah berat badan.. (bukan aku cakap tp akak ku yg selalu dok soh aku log it out in black & white).. so nyer, insya Allah akan ku usahakan nanti...

Thirdly, nak improve my writing skills.. aku ingat ex-boss aku masa keje kat Maxis dok kata org2 IT nih mmg tak reti nak tulis2 report ke apa... adoi.. mmg menyakitkan ati.. iyerla aku keje kat corporate comm dept.. tp teruk betul, tak bagi chance langsung nak involve ngan report ke press release ker tulis formal letter ker apa... sakit ati tul la.. benchi kan kalo org yg ckp mcm tuh tanpa usul periksa.. mmg la org IT nih selalunya dilabelkan cam tuh.. hanya reti nak buat programming ikut logical thinking.. tulis pun ikut step-by-step and line-by-line, if-then-else and what not.. mmm, bukan semua org macam tuh kan?? and aku rasa aku pun tak camtuh.. aku ada byk idea, tp cuma terkadang bercelaru ajer.. nak kena sort it out and try to explain it sebaik mungkin... Lagi pun writing nih bagus apa.. nak release all the emotions dat i'm feeling inside.. (tuh-heehee..sebabnyer, aku nih lebih banyak diam jer dari cakap.. and mmg tak suka cakap byk pun.. hehehe.. lebey suka tulis apa yg aku rasa..)

Tuh jer my main concern skang nih... yg lelain tuh mostly menda yg kechik2 jer kot.. will unveil as i go along.. again HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007 TO ALL!!!!

p/s: do anticipate the upcoming posts which gonna touch on my weight loss experience..

..:: BiTTeRSWeeT TwO-DouBLe-ZeRo-SiX ::..

2006-12-31T15:02:00.000+08:00

Tup-tap tup-tap, dah sampai pun penghujung 2006 and today is the last day. Dang, how time flew like a blizzard.. cepatnyer. Reflecting back on this year, mmm, there were some bitter and sweet memories.

Yang bitter tuh, mak ngah (kakak abah aku) dah kembali ke rahmatullah. Berita pemergian dia memang mengejutkan kami sekeluarga. I was really, really sad. The last time I met her was during raya last year. Mak Ngah mmg dah sakit tua and tak larat dah nak berjalan sana-sini tapi disebabkan hari raya, mak ngah mmg berniat nak dtg beraya kat rumah kami. Sebelum mak ngah balik, aku pun salam, peluk cium tangan and kedua-dua pipi dia.. Lepas tu, dia tak lepaskan tangan aku. Sesekali dia tersenyum, kemudian memegang tangan aku dan mengusap-usap lenganku. Lama jugak dia buat camtuh. Kemudian, tetiba dia cakap kat aku..

"Mak Ngah dah tak lama dah... Lepas ni tak dapat nak jumpa lagi" nadanya spt bergurau..

"Eh Mak Ngah ni, jangan la cakap macam tuu.. InsyaAllah kita akan jumpa lagi.." sapa aku.. rasa tersentap pun ada.. sedih pun ada sbb mak ngah cakap macam tu.. tp aku diamkan saje..

Tapi mmg benar seperti kata2 Mak Ngah. Belum sempat kami nak bersua lagi, arwah telah pergi meninggalkan kami dan pemergiannya masih kami rasai. Al-fatihah buat Mak Ngah. Moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yg beriman. Al-fatihah.

Yang sweetnyer this year.. I think the most valuable gift that I'd given myself is the gift of FREEDOM.. :-) After several break-ups and make-ups, I finally had the courage to end the mostly-emotionally-and-sometimes-physically-abusive-relationship that I was in and it is definitely terminated for good. Aku ni bukannyer sorg yg kejam.. Chances were given to him many, many times (countless). He changed for quite a bit, but in the end he is still the same control-freak who finds happiness by torturing the one that he said he loves to death. Dah lama pun bersabar (8 tahun, x ke lama tuh? :-O) But I did learned a few things from having gone through this bad experience. I think I've become more stronger than I used to.. aku dapat rasakan yg aku nih lebih tabah and lebih sabar untuk hadapi situasi yang lebih challenging pas nih. One more thing is, walau macam mana pun, aku tau aku takleh nak 'ubah' sesorg tu.. Only that person can change for him/herself. Alhamdulillah, everything that happened to me, happens for a reason. Kalau nak pikir negatif, mmg byk perkara yg negatif tapi kan lebey elok kalau kita pikir yg positif atas setiap musibah yg berlaku kat diri kita, kan??

That one particular relationship ended but it brought about many new friendships and renewed the bond that was once lost with old friends. Aku rasa happy sgt2 sebab dapat kenal kawan2 baru and dapat jumpa balik kawan2 lama.. Especially, my friends kat MCC Kuantan dulu.. adik-beradik ku yg dah lama x jumpa.. huhuhu.. bukannya tak ndak jumpa korg but after i was not allowed to contact with any of my frens by my ex, aku pun tak berani nak contact korang sebab aku nak avoid confrontations.. (bayangkanlah, masa dolu takleh nak pakai handphone beb.. definitely a no-no.. kalo nak jugak, abis la perang besar) Alhamdulillah dpt gak jumpa korang masa raya open house kat rumah along hari tu.. I always loved u guys and missed u guys a lot!!

Raya 2006 with adik-beradiks @ along's house

Other than that, aku pun dapat jumpa kengkawan masa kat UKM dulu. Actually, ari tu aku dah janji ngan Loi Ming to visit Syikin yang baru aje lepas operation (masa bulan Syawal gak). Kitorg pun pegila Hospital Putrajaya on one fine Saturday morning to visit her. Punyalah pandai the both of us sebab tak call dulu b4 going there (konon2 nak wat surprise lah tu :P) Ended up, kitorg yg surprised becoz Syikin dah kuar wad ari tuh.. hahaha, mmg tergelak besar la masa tuh.. So, Loi Ming and I pegilah pulak lunch kat Alamanda (mmm, xdela spesel sgt pun kat situ ek? tp aku pon x abes jejalan kat situ.. :P) and then decided nak kaco sorg lagi kawan kitorg, Lin yg mmg dok kat Putrajaya. Sib baik Lin ada kat rumah.. tengah sarat lagi.. (oh ye, Lin baru je delivered a baby girl.. alhamdulillah and tahniah to Lin and family :-)).. After that baru la jumpa Syikin.. and lastly Loi Ming ajak pulak gi rumah Mr Faidzul (my lecturer and oso supervisor tuk thesis dulu).. Kitorg sesedap aje lepak kat rumah En Faidzul and his wife Mastura with their new baby girl.. lepak punye lepak sampai siap makan dinner lagi.. hehehe, muka tak malu sungguh :P.. All in all it was really a long happy day for me.. A day well spent at Bangi, Putrajaya and Bandar Seri Mahkota.. ala rugi tak bawak kamera aje masa tuh.. (kalo dak sure amek pics byk2kan Loi Ming?)

Dat's about all.. Hopefully, the new year will bring more joy and happiness.. insyaAllah.

..:: ON-OFF-STRESS ::..

2006-12-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

Semalam, sambil lepak2 tunggu azan maghrib, aku pun tukar2 channel kat tv and masuk channel Astro Ria (channel 4 kay bg those yg takde astro). Anyways, ada program Hijrah Remaja kat tv and tetiba menarik minat aku utk melihat rancangan tuh becoz they were discussing the topic on "Tension + Stress + Pressure". Owh, cam te-tau ajer aku ni yg tgh stress amat sgt skang nih.. huhuhu..

Menarik jugak perbincangan ahli2 panel and oso the guest speaker tuh (Ustaz Zulfan Haidar). Dia pun bg tau pasal teori A-B-C. A is for potential stressor which is org or menda2 yg boley buatkan kita stress. B is for the thoughts that we have on the potential stressor, bila kita dok pk pasal org2/menda2 yg leh wat kita stress. Lastly C is for the action that we take from thinking bout stress (mmm, lebey kurg gituh la kot aku rasa). Ustaz tu pun explain that we should always have the positive reaction when coping with stress and disokong sebulat suara oleh semua yg dlm discussion tuh. Yeah, right.. i do think that all of us are aware bout this kan?? Tp, cuma dia cakap bila kita stress kita kena pikir, kenapa kita nih stress in the first place?? that's where the theory comes in lah. So, nyer.. bila tgh2 stress gituh, try to understand where the stress is coming from.

He also gave an example yg stress nih mmg ada masa2 zaman nabi dulu. Sepertinya masa Nabi Ya'kub a.s. yang stress bila mengetahui yang anaknya Nabi Yusuf a.s. hilang. He cried and cried until he turned blind. But, dia masih lagi terus2an berzikir dan bertawakal pada Allah s.w.t and in the end dia pun dpt berjumpa semula dgn anaknya Nabi Yusuf a.s. and alhamdulillah he retrieved back his eyesight dengan kekuasaan Allah. Then, another story about Saidina Umar Al-Khattab yg juga ditimpa tekanan. Cuma dia mempunyai cara tersendiri utk handle stress. First he will say alhamdulillah and syukur sangat2 becoz dia kena tekanan ni kat dunia dan bukan kat akhirat coz bila kat akhirat nanti mmg dah takleh nak wat apa2 dah pun. Yg second step that he took, i had forgotten. The last step dia akan katakan pada diri dia, alhamdulillah penderitaan saya ini lebih ringan drpd org lain. The ustaz said the best way to manage stress is always train our mind like what Saidina Umar did when facing stressful situations.

Bagus sungguh perbincangan nih, yg membuka mata aku besar2 sket and also mengingatkan aku buat keberapa kalinya yg i always, always need to remain positive and be positive. Tulah aku nih, terlalu ikutkan perasaan and senantiasa lalai ajer. Tu pasal yg leh stress teruks2 tuh.. huhuhu. Padahal, if i stayed positive, insyaAllah everything will be okay kan? wallahu'alam.

Conclusionnyer, semua org mmg facing stress in their lives. Cuma how they handle the stress yg buatkan org tuh okay ke tak. For example, Wardina Saffiyah (the host) said that when she is so stressed dia akan baca Quran byk2 and menangis pada Allah. That's the best way for her to cope with stress. Yup, different people handle it differently. Mmm, yup i sure need to do sumthing bout my stress nih..

Okay, i'm off now to do some stress management.. hopefully i'll get better.. insyaAllah.

..:: I.M.T.R.O.U.B.L.E.D ::..

2006-12-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

Dearest diary,

Lately, I am really2 stressed out. I just don't know why. One thing's for sure, it's definitely not related to my work becoz, alhamdulillah I can still cope with the workload. Somehow, I just feel like I'm disconnected with myself.. feeling of lost.. losing touch with ME.

Mmm, just recently, I keep having flashbacks of the painful memories... grrhh.. really x larat lah.. really feel frustrated and at times angry with myself for having these snapshots of the past.. Gambaran masih jelas lagi and suara2 masih terngiang-ngiang kat dlm kepala aku. aku tak daya lagi. (kenapalah 'ko' nak kacau aku lagik.. huhu)

I'm not giving up but skrg nih aku rasa mcm patah semangat sikit kat diri sendiri. Aku cepat pulak rasa guilty, rasa down, rasa pessimis. Pastuh, semakin byk aku pk semakin cepat aku rasa exhausted. Once i start thinking, i just couldn't stop. I can't control 'them'. It's like 'they' are having their own way of doin' the thinking for me. Kalau slow2 tuh takpe tp ini tak, mcm bullet train, pacing back and forth lelaju, sib baik tak collide ajer.

Apa aku nak buat? I know there may be some issues that i need to settle. I need to dig deep and figure out.. and skrg nih aku tgh pening, confused..

-->> I.M.T.R.O.U.B.L.E.D.!!!

..:: rasa sedih itu ::..

2006-12-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

Tiba-tiba hari ini rasa sayu terbit di permukaan hati
Hatiku terasa berat, dadaku merasa sebak sekali
Perasaanku mula menggamit rasa hiba
Begitu sukar untuk aku jelaskan

Aku masih tak mengerti kenapa aku melalui rasa ini
Dari mana datangnya rasa itu yang tidak pun diundang
Mengacau jiwaku yang sedang tenteram dan tenang
Membuatkan aku terjatuh ke dalam rasa kedukaan

Airmata mula bergenang di kelopak mataku
Namun ianya tidak jatuh membasahi pipi
Mengapa ianya tidak begitu seperti selalu
Aku cuba memahami namun tidak dapat mengerti rasa sedih itu

~Nukilan: Linda @ Da-Da, 26 Disember 2006

I did cry when I got back from work today. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
The feeling of sorrow came and crept into my heart. I am trying to figure out what triggered the emotions.
There could be many reasons. It could be coming from the memories of my past or it may come from the feeling of uncertainties in the future. It could be anything... and here I am still wondering why...

..:: eK-NEe aTTaCk ::..

2006-12-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

CAUTION: This info is only intended to those who are having problems like yours truly. Read with care.

Yikes! dah beberapa bulan aku dok ada problem nih, (rasa2nya 2-3 bulan nih kot). Tak tercapai akalku untuk perasan yg menda2 cam nih pun leh berlaku kat aku bila dah sampai usia2 dewasa gini. Rupa2nya idak, sangkaanku meleset sama sekali.. malah problem aku skrg nih rasa2nya makin teruk aje... huhuhu. Pe menda lah yg aku dok citer nih kan?? Well, if u wanna know... i'm currently having ACNE attacks!

Iyearlah, dodulu mana ada muka aku teruk cam skrg nih. Kalo kena acne pun kekadang aje time2 PMS. Tapi sekarang nih dari satu ke satu aku kena. Pastu kena kat area jawline and chin.. huhuhu, sedey betul.. dan membuatkan aku betul2 malu sebab semua orang dok perasan yg muka aku dah jadik teruk.

Anyways, aku pun ada terbaca satu buku. Kalau jerawat tuh appear kat area jawline and chin, besar kemungkinan ianya disebabkan hormones. Betul ker?? Aku pun buat ler survey (baru je tadik).. untuk dptkan kesahihan. Ha'ah mmg betullah, huhuhu.. hormon aku tengah tunggang-langgang sekrg nih bagaikan keretapi yg tergolek dari landasan.

Okay, so now what?? Mmm.. skrg nih tgh pikir nak gi jumpa doktor kots. Doktor yg adik aku pergi jumpa a few months back. Masa adik aku pegi hari tu, the doctor did recommend her to use Cetaphil cleanser. I just bought one last week and tengah menggunakannya pun (rasa cam kurang cikit jer jerawat aku, tapi cikit ajer..). I also read somewhere that it is simply best cleanser ever for your skin.

Other than that, aku kena amalkan tips2 (listed below) yg aku amek drpd beberapa website:-

1. Don't over do - cleanse in the morning and evening, and don't scrub that often. Kalau lebih dari yg ditetapkan akan buatkan pimple tuh lagi teruk

2. Quit picking - jangan ngengada nak sentuh2 muka tuh ngan tangan.. nanti akan menyebabkan bakteria merebak dari tangan kena kat muka, pastu muka akan bertambah-tambah teruk nanti

3. Cutdown on stress - aku yang sememangnye stress memanjang, nak kena kurangkannyer.. take
time-outs.. relaks kejap antara waktu keje tuh.

4. Drink more water - nak kena tambah aku nyer daily water intake.. more than 8 glasses definitely.
Kekadang aku nih terlupa nak minum air.

5. Exercise regularly - dah lama aku tak excercise nih.. sejak lepas bulan pose and bulan syawal, belum lagi start2 nak excercise betul2.. kena buat nih.

6. Eat more veggie and fruits - yg ni skrg ni mmg aku tgh buat pun, tp aku nih kekdg tuh dah beli buah byk2 tapi terlupa nak makan..

7. Choose 'non-comedogenic' - kena make sure kosmetik (powder, foundation etc) tuh non-comedogenic, yg takkan clog pores.

8. Sleep - need to get 8 hours of sleep daily to de-stress skin. Kalau kurg dari 8 jam, mungkin akan menimbulkan akne yg lebih..

To those who do have problems like me, aku paham perasaannya.. mmg boleh ada kesan pada emosi kan?? but need to take action gak. Mmm, do hope that my skin will get better soon, insya Allah.

Do hope the info given is useful. You can also do your own skin assessment from the Cetaphil website:-
1. Basic Skin Assessment
2. Detail Skin Assessment

..:: JuGGLiNG eMoTioNs ::..

2006-12-14T22:26:00.000+08:00

"When any fit of anxiety or gloominess or perversion of the mind lays hold upon you, make it a rule not to publish it by complaints but exert your whole care to hide it. By endeavoring to hide it, you will drive it away." Dr. Samuel Johnson

Today was not a good day for me. It all started with two separate and unexpected phone calls when I got to work this morning. Owh, when I had just managed to avoid someone (and the related counterparts) from my past, then suddenly 'BAM!' just like getting hit on the head by a coconut fruit (hehe.. mcm pernah kena pun.. :P) everything turned sour.. :-( But, I was quite amazed at myself.. I managed to retain my composure and talked in the most polite way as possible..

It's just that I don't understand why this 'someone' called me up in the first place.. and then followed by this 'someone's' sister. The relationship had already been terminated months ago.. Why can't his sister accept the situation??
No, means no, right??

All my emotions were jumbled up. I tried my best not to fall into the trap of depression. For one minute I was okay, and then the next minute I feel absolutely terrible. What I do know is, I need to fight back all those negativity and not let it get to me....

Alhamdulillah, i'm okay now..

..:: WHaT iN THe WoRLD?? ::..

2006-12-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

Penatnya dah taip panjang2, pastu bile klik publish terus ilang.. macam magic si David Blaine tuh pulaks.. (btw, aku suka tengok mamat neh punya show yg tunjuk kat astro tuh david blaine's street magic + he's one good looking guy.. hehe). Actually, aku dah kena 2 kali dah. Penat aku tulis pepanjang, tarus hilang after klik publish.. mmm, so aku tgh pikir 'what in the world' y this thing could happen....

maybe sebab aku tak patut publish menda2 yg aku dah type pepanjang tuh...
maybe blogger sajer je nak aim aku nyer posting nih... saje je tak bagi aku masukkan entry sebab dengki... hahaha..
maybe button publish tu camouflage ajer.. sebaliknye bila klik publish tuh sebenarnya tuk delete, pastu tarus ilang posting aku sebelum nie.. pandai laks aku nyer hipotesis
maybe ada conspiracy theory somewhere, somehow.. pasang2 spy gitu
maybe ada udang sebalik mee.. makanan pun terbabit sama..

mmm... tu jer kot yg aku leh pk setakat nih.. yg penting nyer... aku FRUSTRATED beb! penat aahh tulis pepanjang tadik... huhuhu.. sedeynyeerr

p/s: aku dah copy and paste kat word pad dulu sebab takmo pisang berbuah kali ke-3.. huhu

..:: FeVeRiSH SuRPRiSe ::..

2006-12-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah, today i managed to get back to work after suffering a high fever and migraine during the weekend.

Mmm.. guess what? i received a few surprises today....

~~~~~

Early in the morning, i got an sms from a friend asking whether i'll be coming to work today... .

i gladly replied that insya Allah, i'll be in the office :-)

Later, i was surprised by her reply saying that she misses me...

*sob, sob, felt like crying*

~~~~~

When i got to the office, a colleague of mine who sits in front of my workstation and just got out from the morning meeting said,..

    'hey, where have you been??everyone in the office misses you...'

*owh.. shucks... am i really missed??? *

~~~~~

Later, a few of my colleagues dropped by and asked me...

     'hey, how are you doing??....'    'are you getting better??.....' 'are you okay???....'

and they also gave some advise to take good care of myself.

~~~~~

It's just that... sometimes i feel that no one cares about me... or no one knows if i exist... feeling unimportant and useless...

Is it just me??... or my thoughts are playing tricks on me???

But, today i just realised that there are people, other than my family, who do think about me and cares about me....

Eventhough it was just for a short moment...

     Somehow it made me feel 'important', made me feel 'happy',....

.....and above all it made me feel 'blessed'

And i also, do truly care of the people who had touched my life..
      thank you so much for being there...
            thank you so much for your support...

p/s: absence do makes the heart grow fonder... not turning up for a day really made a difference

..:: PeRPiSaHaN - aNuAR ZaiN - OST CiNTa ::..

2006-12-11T16:51:00.000+08:00

Perpisahan - Anuar Zain

Ku mengerti perpisahan ini
Bukan kerana kau membenci
Tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri
Tiada lagi bersama

Sering, kala aku terlihatkan mu
Impian nan indah bersulam bahagia

Ku harungi hari demi hari
Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali
Tapi hati masih tak terima
Ditinggalkan sengsara

Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Perasaan hati masih rindu
Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
Tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilangan
Kehilanganmu...
Masih tercari-cari...

Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Masih tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu

*lagu yang penuh emosi... soulful... truly g8.. tears running inside my heart...

..:: CiNTa - 5 KiSaH, 1 CeRiTa ::..

2006-12-11T12:39:00.000+08:00

Minggu sudah, i finally get to catch CINTA, filem yg sememangnya aku dok tunggu2 nak tengok..
Penantian yg agak lama sejak my sis, ieja who did her practical at GBSB was involved in the
production of the movie, asyik dok citer kat aku bits & pieces of this movie.. sejak the first time i
watched the sneak preview kat Tv3's melodi masa bulan puasa yg lepas, aku dah terjatuh CINTA.
buatkan aku bertambah teruja nak menonton..

“Seringkali kita terlalai mengejar apa yang belum pasti hingga kita lupa meraikan satu-satunya perkara yang menjanjikan kebahagiaan.. CINTA..”

Ungkapan yang diutarakan masa opening of the movie, and bagi aku minit2 pertama masa opening tuh membuatkan aku nak tau lebih lanjut apa yg special sgt about CINTA nih... The first scene tuh pun dah ada impact utk buatkan aku fixed my eyes on the movie and to follow the story until the end.... segala emosi yg digarapkan dlm cinta nih dpt aku rasa... rasa sedih, pilu, luka, gembira, sayang, memahami, marah, sepi, kosong, kasihan, simpati, terharu.... macam2 rasa yg aku peroleh dari CINTA.. pendek kata filem nih mmg memukau dan gambarannyer masih lagi jelas terpahat dlm memori walaupun dah lebih dari seminggu aku tonton citer nih... Banyak sgt scenes yg menarik dlm CINTA.. scene2 yg aku takleh nak lupa

Bila Taufiq (Pierre) for the first time luahkan rasa cintanya pada Arianna (Amani) tapi masa tu ada tren komuter tengah lalu kat depan rumah and so memang tak kedengaranlah kata2 yg diucapkan oleh Taufiq pada Arianna.. *owh, so sweeeeett!! and oso there's a touch of humour in it... *
Bila Harris (Rashidi) nak buat surprise kat wife dia, Airin (Rita Rudaini) and all of a sudden he was the one who got the 'surprise'... *woohh.. kesian kat dia... really felt the hurt, pain and agony that he had to go through..*
Bila Cikgu Elyas (Dato' Rahim Razali) who has alzheimer, masa tuh di tengah2 Chow Kit dia tak tau di mana dia berada.. *sympathised for him* luckily Rubiah (Fatimah Abu Bakar) who happened to be there, nampak apa yg berlaku and terus gi tolong cikgu Elyas.. *sebak aku tengok this scene..*
Bila Dhani (Que Haidar) found out what his sister Dyan (Nanu) did for him... pengorbanan seorang kakak pada adik yg disayangi... *nih part paling sedey...menangis aku dlm hati*
Bila Azlan (Eizlan Yusof) dlm satu press conference, terpaksa menafikan hubungannya dgn Azura (Fasha Sanda) demi utk menjaga status korporatnyer.. and masa tuh Azura heard all of it... *hipokrasi tul mamat nih, geramnyer aku tengok.. sian kat Azura..*
the little girl who played the daughter of Harris and Airin.. the scene where the dad sent the daughter to her mum's new house.. then the daughter takmo balik... nak ikut her dad and wants him to be happy, takmo sedey2 lagi... *owh, nih part paling2 terharu.. really brought tears to my eyes.. coz it reminded me of a loved one who had to endure the same situation quite some time ago... very sad... sob, sob...*

All i can say is... this is the best malay movie that I've watched so far (not that many on my list pun).. Apart from the storyline, the cinematography for me is really superb... chantek maaa... and the selection of songs in this movie mmg mengancam lagi seswai... really touching to hear Perpisahan by Anuar Zain... sedey siioootttssss... so, it's still not too late if you want to catch this movie... mmm, aku pun kalau ada peluang nak tengok lagik... :-) a few lines from the movie that i really liked..

"Kalau kita bersusah-payah sehari untuk orang yang kita sayang adalah lebih baik daripada bersusah-payah selama-lamanya untuk orang yang kita tak sayang"

"Kadang-kadang orang yang paling kita sayang adalah yang paling susah untuk disayangi"

"Isteri bukanlah hak milik tapi satu anugerah"

Mmm.. byk betul kesan daripada CINTA... membuatkan aku sendiri ingin untuk merasakan cinta... dan memang benar, kalau tiada pahit, duka, sedih, gembira, tawa bukanlah cinta namanya.. namun bagi aku filem nih mmg ada sikit je kekurangan... tidak digambarkan cinta yang lebih agung dan cinta yang abadi iaitu cinta kepada Tuhan... seperti lirik daripada nasyid raihan "kasih manusia sering bermusim, sayang manusia tiada abadi, kasih Tuhan tiada terperi, sayang Tuhan janjiNya pasti....." mmm.. mungkin penulis tak sempat kot nak masukkan elemen2 ketuhanan kat dlm movie nih... overall, CINTA berjaya menambat hatiku...

p/s: nama adik aku appeared at the ending credits.. proud aku sih.. hehe

..:: To Be oR NoT To Be ::..

2006-12-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

Be understanding to your enemies.
Be loyal to your friends.

Be strong enough to face the world each day.
Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.

Be generous to those who need your help.
Be frugal with that you need yourself.

Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.
Be trusting enough to believe in miracles.

Be willing to share your joys.
Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.
Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.

Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.
Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.

Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble.
Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way.

Be loving to those who love you.
Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.

This is reminding you, "Above all, be yourself."

got this via e-mail from a friend.. the words r really meaningful... wud like to place 'em here... :-)

..:: i'm STiLL HeRe ::..

2006-12-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

it has been quite a while since i last updated this blog.. it's not that i purposely refuse to write or don't have anything to write but i just don't seem to meet upon the 'perfect' time to access the internet... no joke!

mmm, and now at the wee-hours of the night *while listening to mariah carey's hero*, i'm back in front of the new kewl pc in my bros room, writing *oppss, typing actually*... you know what, i actually love to write... cause within the last month, i stumbled upon my good old diary during my college years at mcc, kuantan... *reminiscence of ikip and jalan gambang days*.... wowzers! just couldn't believe that i can write... hahaha.. mostly, i write 'bout how i felt.... what goes on around me and also there were lots, and lots of motivational words for myself... hahaha.. it's really funny dowh coz i've been giving myself motivational tips all this while... no wonder, for these past couple of years, i have this urge to be a motivator like Dr Fadzilah Kamsah or H.M Tuah Iskandar.. duh, that answers it.. erk, who knows one day, i might appear in front of the tv screen and have my own show, or may publish my own books on motivational tips and stories and have my own column in the magazine or newspaper *woooo.. keep on dreamin' dear..*

mmm, for the time being.. i think it's best for me to just stick with my blog... mmm, and actually, i really don't know if people do actually read whatever if i have to say or write... *nemind lor, if ppl dun read oso, i can always read back whateva i've written*.. hehehe

till then... over and out... Linda @ Da-Da signing off

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

this is me maw!

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

FeeLiNG JaDeD

2006-10-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

Do you know how it feels??

To be feeling tired and bored at the same time...

You feel so tired that even the slightest thoughts of doing something or even thinking is draining you...

You feel so bored that there is not a thing which interests you and even talking makes you weary...

I know how it feels cause I'm feeling it right now...

And this is one of those days when I feel jaded...

p/s: argghhh... and it's killing me!!

MaCaM TaK PeRCaYa Dah RaYe

2006-10-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

SeLaMaT HaRi RaYa AiDiLFiTRi 1427H

Today is the 3rd day of hari raya aidilfitri and aku dah masuk balik opis - keje!! wah, wah workaholic lah aku nih... bagus betul.. seorang pekerja yang baik dan patut dicontohi.. 3rd day raya dah kije dah… kuikuikui.. takde 'ah.. aku saje je takmo amek cuti sebab aku raya kat Kay Ell jer maa.. and eventually on the 3rd and 4th raya, aku tak gi mana2 pun... so, sayang lah pulak kalo aku nak membazirkan cuti kalo tak ke mana...

Best sangat ke raya kat Kay Ell neh?? bagi aku BEST, BEST, BEST.. sebab apa?? ntah la, mungkin sbb aku dah terbiasa kot beraya di tgh bandar... bestlah kot bagi aku, sebab TRAFFIC lengang sket bila time2 raya neh.. hmm, pe lagi ek?? Ntah aah… itu jer kot.. and oso, kalo gi shopping complex tuh kurang pack sikit… but, forewarn, don’t go to KLCC time2 public holiday neh… sebabnyer, dipenuhi dengan foreign workers.. unless kalo mmg engkorg dah takde tempat nak tujulah… sebabnyer, aku pernah gi masa 2nd day of raya (x hingat tahun biler) and mak aiihh, I tell u.. punyerlah ramai bangsa asing… ngan mcm2 bahasa yg dorg ckp.. rasa cam kat negara luar lah pulak…

Tapi aku still tak percaya dah raya nih… erkk.. sebab cepat sgt jer masa berlalu… masa last day pose, and dah jadik mcm kebiasaanlah pulak, mesti bukak pose makan KFC.. oopss… bukan malas nak masak, tp x sempat pun nak masak tuk bukak pose… nak buat itu, nak buat ini.. byk betul keje… and in fact a few weeks b4 raya dah cbuk pun… dah nak dekat raya lagi la sibuk… okay, back to the story yg haku still tak percaya dah raya neh… sebabnya dok rasa cam baru je sambut raya tahun lepas and raya tahun nih aku mmg paling sempoi… takde nak wat preparation langsung cam tahun2 sebelumnya… baju raya tak siap pun aku tak kisah… hehehe… ala, melalut lagik aku nih… bukan nak story pasal nih maaa… okay, again back to the story.. cam still tak percaya, tak realize dah raya pun.. hmm, time bukak pose tuh, my mum la dok mention cam sekejap jer masa berlalu… dah raya lagi… hmm… aku mmg agree pun… pastu abg aku cakap laks… kita dah semakin hampir ngan kiamat… sebab tu masa mmg berlalu dgn pantas.. tak mcm dulu2.. hmm aku agree jugak.. and some more, the earth is moving towards the sun, tambah abg aku lagik.. owh.. this one I dunno for sure… nak kena buat research dulu nih… but it’s not impossible since anything is possible to ALLAH… kalau nak jadik, jadik lah ia… Allahu Akbar!

Cuma aku agak terkilan sebab bulan Ramadan yg sudah aku tak gunakan ngan sebaik2nyer.. mmg lah aku berazam nak wat tarawih penuh, tp ada gak yg aku tertinggal.. mcm2 la azam aku nak wat itu nak wat ini.. huhuhu, adalah haku buat sikit2.. tp byk yg tak wat and tak jadik… huhuhu.. sedey nih… hmm, tp aku dah cuba yg sebaik mungkin tp maybe bukan yg terbaik dari aku… akan aku cuba buat yg lebih baik lagi… nak kena istiqamah!

Hmm, dok pk nih, kenapa sbg manusia kita selalu aje lalai and tak beringat? Kenapa mesti lupa? Dah mmg mcm tu ker sejak azali? Kejap ingat, kejap lupa? Hmm, and kalau nak ubah and sentiasa beringat, mcm mana??

p/s: soklan2 dituju khas buat diri sendiri sbg peringatan

HaRi iNi, SeMaLaM DaN eSoK

2006-10-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

Hari ini datang lagi
Kau bernafas disini
Kau masih mencari
Sesuatu yang belum pasti

Semalam telah pergi
Meninggalkan sejuta memori
Derita yang kau lalui
Janganlah kau ingati

Esok masih menanti
Belum lagi kau tempuhi
Tapi kau perlu yakini
Bahagia itu dapat dikecapi

Hari ini, semalam dan esok
Masa silih berganti
Hadapilah dengan ketabahan
Sulamilah dengan kesabaran

p/s: "today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today"... belajarlah dari kesilapan semalam... hadapi hari ini dengan ikhlas, tekun dan sabar... lalui hari esok dengan harapan dan doa untuk yang terbaik dunia dan akhirat...

YouR SHoPPiNG CoMPaNioN

2006-10-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

I've just realised something today --> i am really a good shopping companion.. (ches, puji diri lagik.. kuikui.. :P) actually my good friend mentioned 'bout it today.. since i selalu temankan orang gi shopping but i myself don't really shop for stuff.. hmm, baru je terperasan and i do agree and feel that it is quite true.. :)

For example, last week on Saturday.. i temankan my dad along with my younger sis gi shopping at Jalan TAR.. actually, my dad nak beli songkok for himself and my nephew and oso new cushion covers for the cushions in the living room.. we went out a little bit late and arrived at Jalan TAR around elevenish.. We were fortunate to secure a parking space kat Semua House (tips: if u wanna go to Jalan TAR, please gi pagi2.. esp if u want to park near to the bazar ramadan.. nanti susah nak dpt parking.. and oso there will be a lot of people in that area kalo gi waktu petang). Pas balik tuh, i temankan my sis gi Mid Valley. She wanted to look for hari raya nye shoes.. (as usual, i volunteered to teman her).

Today, i went to Mid Valley again and this time i kuar with kawan kakak i and my younger sis.. kawan kakak i tuh wanted to look for shoes jugak. (fyi, my elder sis tak gi pun.. adik2nye pulak yg temankan kawan kakaknye ituh.. hehehe)

hmm.. mmg betullah tu, selalu jadik peneman org shopping.. dah terbiasa tp x perasan.. baru je sedar.. hehehe

As for me, i'm not a crazee shopping kinda of person.. ntah tak teruja nak shopping for myself.. lebey suka tengok org lain bershopping.. tumpang happy kalo org yg shop tuh dpt carik brg yg diorg nak beli.. hmm.. and one more thing maybe aku nih pandai bagi opinion kalo org nak beli sesuatu benda kot.. hehe, sbb tu org suka ajak aku temankan diorg gi shopping.. (hahaha.. puji diri lagik.. cam bagus je kan?? kihkih).. Another thing is, i only shop kalau item tuh i really2 need or item tuh is on bargain and oso good value for money.. so far takde lah nak beli baju memahal giles.. will always look for bargains.. that's what i like to do when i shop.. :)

Okay kalo ada sesaper nak carik teman utk shopping, meh ajak aku.. hehehe..
Xde ahh, gurau2 je.. But, i usually will temankan those who are close to me to shop n i really don't mind even if i don't buy anything..

p/s: The outcome from the above shopping outings :-

1. i got a new pair of jeans from dorothy perkins (with 20% discount and less than RM100)
2. i bought a perfume which costs me RM70 (brand ESCADA kat perfume warehouse sale)

itu jer... and m so, so thrilled coz item tuh seme mmg takde lagi and leh dpt harga yg berpatutan.. value for money!

aNd YeT aGaiN... aNoTHeR ReVaMP..

2006-10-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, i've been searching for blogger templates from the internet.. if u had noticed, this is the 3rd time since i had changed the template for my blog.. and i do hope i am gonna stick with this one... this template really attracted my attention... found it from createblog.. really simple and looks fresh! really, really like it..

okay if u peeps wud like to get new templates, u might wanna check these sites...

Aman - Singaporean guys who's creating very kool templates for blogger.. i actually tried to use one of the templates (splash).. but it didn't turn out that well.. (duh.. maybe my mistake)
Blogskins - artistic designs submitted by users.. but dunno how to apply the designs in my template.. will surely bookmark this for future reference
Gecko&Fly - offers some good templates.. i did use the Lonely Girl template for a few days.. but the layout was a bit messy (index page) not the same as the template.. so had to discard this.. (don't have time to check on the codes)
Isnaini - Indonesian guy who also design templates for blogger.. found his website thru Lonely Girl template (he designed it) also offers a variety of cool templates..
bloggertemplates.org - found this thru the designer of my current template (she's using one of the templates from this site) also a worth site to visit for free templates..

That's about all peeps.. have fun surfin'

p/s: hmm.. maybe i could also create a template on my own.. just need time and creativity (which is a must).. but, aiyaaahh.. no time laaaa right now...

JeMPuTaN BuKa PuaSa

2006-10-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

The last 2 weeks of puasa nih, byk betul aku terima jemputan berbuka puasa secara buffet di hotel2 atau tempat2 yg ada kelas gitu. Dalam banyak2 tuh, satu pun aku tak pergi.. hehe.. sorry la geng, aku bukan jual mahal.. tp aku ada reasons tersendiri kenapa aku tamo gi.. meh aku list down:-

Sebab-musabab Kenapa Aku takmo gi Ramadahan buffet

Aku mmg prefer buka puasa ngan family kat rumah..
A bit leceh to buka puasa kat luar - al maklumlah pompuan kan - nak kena bersiap-siap, pastu time semayang nak kena cuci muka bersih2 dulu.. kalau lepas semayang tu nak kena touch up balik, pakai tudung lagi.. hehe.. paham2 aje la..
Aku tak reti nak makan byk2 - abah aku selalu kata kalau bwk aku gi makan buffet membazir je sbb aku x reti makan byk2.. itu kalo bukan bulan pose, kalau bulan pose emm.. lagi la x leh nak makan byk2...
Aku senak perut kalo makan byk2.. hehe.. reason berkaitan di atas.. nanti kalo makan byk2 aku sakit perut.. malam2 takleh tido.. hehehe..
Bila makan byk2 kang tak gi lak tarawih.. hehe.. ini peringatan utk aku lah nih..
Aku takmo membazir.. hehe, takpe biar org yg nak belanjer aku tuh jimat sikit duit kan.. kahkah..
Reason paling best.. aku tgh jaga badan yg masih belum kurus2 nih.. hahaha.. kang makan byk2 makin montel lak aku

Okayla.. dengan explanation nih, harap2 nye takde lagi org yg asyik dok tanya.. "Why aku tak gi?" or "Kenapa aku decline invitation".. harap2 dorg paham la ekk.. itu pon kalo dorg bacala aper yg aku tulis nih..

p/s: aku gi gak buka pose kat luar.. bukak pose kat rumah my cousin.. boleh kira buka puasa kat luar la tuh kan?? hehe

DoA OraNG Yg TeRaNiaYa

2006-10-07T00:51:00.000+08:00

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w maksudnya "Tiga orang yang doanya tak akan ditolak, orang yang berpuasa sampai ia berbuka, pemimpin yang adil, dan orang yang dizalimi" (HR. al-Tirmidzi).

Doa orang yang dizalimi terhadap orang yang menzaliminya sangat mudah dimakbulkan oleh Allah S.W.T. Oleh itu perbuatan zalim sebenarnya merupakan perbuatan yang sangat merugikan kepada si pelakunya. Allah S.W.T boleh memberi hukuman ke atas si pelaku tersebut ketika di dunia lagi seperti nasib yang menimpa Firaun. Malah di akhirat kelak orang-orang yang berlaku zalim akan menerima nasib yang sangat malang kerana kebaikan yang dimilikinya akan berpindah kepada orang-orang dizaliminya. Sekiranya dia tidak mempunyai kebaikan, maka keburukan orang-orang yang teraniaya akan terlempar kepadanya dan akan ditanggung olehnya.

Petikan yang diambil daripada Jakim (e-Hadith).

Nota: Ini bukanlah cerita rekaan. Ini bukanlah kisah dongeng. Ini bukanlah fiksyen. Apa yang hendak ku coret adalah secebis kisah silam yang pernah ku alami dulu. Kisah yang akan ku simpan dengan kemas di dalam lubuk sanubariku. Kisah yang berlaku di dalam bulan puasa beberapa tahun yang lampau di antara aku dan dia (bekas cintaku).

Aku telah berusaha dengan sebaik mungkin untuk menjaga hatinya. Semakin ku cuba untuk jujur di dalam perhubungan, semakin banyak masalah yang timbul. Hari demi hari, dia semakin mencurigai setiap kata-kataku. Kenapa dia masih tidak mempercayaiku? Apa yang aku kata, lain pula yang bermain di fikirannya. Kenapa? Apa salahku?

Namun, Aku tahu begitu sukar untuk aku merubah perasaan CEMBURUnya. Bila cemburu menguasai diri seseorang, apa yang benar akan dikatakan salah dan apa yang salah akan dikatakan benar. Dia pun begitu.

Bila dia cemburu (dan inginku nyatakan disini dia sangat cemburu), apa yang ku katakan benar akan disyakinya dan apa yang ku tidak lakukan akan difitnahnya. Begitu bahayanya cemburu di luar batasan.

Dalam bulan puasa itu, telah berlaku pertengkaran antara kami berdua. Pertengkaran yang hebat buat diriku. Aku dah tak tertahan lagi mendengar tuduhan-tuduhan yang tidak berasas. Aku dah tak sanggup lagi dihina dengan kata-kata kesat. Aku dah tak terdaya lagi menanggung derita itu seorang diri. Bersabar? Ya, aku telah lama bersabar dengan sikapnya itu. Kalau perempuan lain yang berada di tempatku mungkin telah lama meninggalkan dirinya. Tapi aku tidak. Aku masih lagi bertahan walaupun dia dengan mudah melukakan jiwa dan perasaanku.

Kembali kepada kisahku. Aku pun tidak tahu bagaimana aku telah berbuat sedemikian. Mungkin disebabkan terlalu kecewa dan sedih dengan apa yang berlaku, aku telah mendoakan sesuatu yang diluar jangkaanku setelah aku selesai solat pada malam itu. Tidak sekali aku berniat untuk membalas dendam. Tetapi aku telah pun berdoa.. mendoakan sesuatu yang tidak baik.

Aku tidak menghubunginya buat beberapa hari. Ya, aku tidak mahu mendengar suaranya yang hanya menyakitkan hati. Aku ingin bersendirian.

Selang beberapa hari selepas pertengkaran kami, aku menerima panggilan telefon. Jam di radio menunjukkan hampir pukul dua pagi. Aku pun mengangkat gagang telefon. Apa yang bermain di fikiran ialah perkara-perkara kecemasan atau mungkin saudara-mara yang menelefon untuk memberitahu hal-hal yang mendukacitakan (contohnya kematian dsbgnya).

"Hello.. ini Linda ke?" rupa-rupanya dia yang bercakap di talian.

"Ya, ini Linda" jawabku.

"Linda, saya terlibat di dalam kemalangan ni... Tapi nasib baik saya tak apa-apa. Saya ada kat jejantas Sungai Buloh. Saya bawak perlahan je tadi.. tapi bila tiba kat selekoh tu, tiba2 saya tak dapat kawal stering... kereta tu pulak berpusing-pusing.. kemudian tah macam mana kereta tu boleh terbalik.. Tapi yang penting kami semua ok"..

Aku masih ingat detik-detik apabila aku mendengar berita tersebut. Aku langsung tidak terkejut. Aku hanya terdiam. Tiada sepatah kata-kata yang keluar dari bibirku. Entah. Aku memang tidak mempunyai apa-apa reaksi pada waktu itu. Aku seperti tunggul kayu yang tidak mempunyai perasaan. Dia meminta aku pergi ke sana. Namun aku tidak berbuat demikian. Tetapi apa yang aku ingat pada waktu itu dan akan kekal hingga sekarang ialah DOAKU TERMAKBUL. Ya, memang benar. Aku telah mendoakan supaya dia ditimpa kemalangan dan ia benar-benar berlaku-Astaghfirullah hal'azim.

Lantaran daripada kemalangan itu, ianya meninggalkan kesan buat diri aku. Alhamdulillah, dia dan adik-beradiknya selamat dan tidak tercedera. Kalaulah kemalangan jiwa yang berlaku, pasti aku akan rasa bersalah sampai bila-bila. Pasti aku tidak dapat memaafkan diriku. Lanjutan daripada kejadian tersebut, aku memberitahu perkara yang sebenar kepadanya mengenai doaku itu dan aku telah meminta maaf daripadanya (...selebihnya tidak perlu aku terangkan disini...).

Sekarang, bila kufikirkan semula, aku rasa memang tidak patut aku mendoakan yang sedemikian. Aku seharusnya mendoakan perkara yang baik. Satu nasihat yang berguna aku terima dari 'best friend' aku.. Jika ada orang yang menganiayai kita, adalah lebih baik kita mendoakan kebaikan kepada orang tersebut. Lebih baik kita mendoakan supaya orang itu berubah kerana itu adalah lebih mulia. Ya, aku pun setuju dengan nasihat tersebut dan akan aku amalkan.

p/s: ini adalah kisah yang sememangnya menjadi pedoman buat diriku.

SLeePY Ed

2006-10-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

Adodoi... hari nih mmg terkena kemengantukkan yg thp giler babas la toksah nak kate. Masa siang tadik around elevenish, i was really, really sleepy.. bukannyer takdak kije nak kena buat. ADA.. byk laks tuh. Cubala sesape yg lalu-lalang tuh dok jenguk kat desk aku kat opis.. haaa.. kan, bukannyer nak tipu tp mmg ada melambak-lambak kertas2 penting yg bercover kaler kuning cayaq dok tunggu turn je nak kena di'PrOSeS'.. chess cam kije kat kilang lak proses-memproses segala..

Aku pun cuba la nak meng'PSYCHO' diri aku ngan mengatakan 'aku tak ngantuk', 'aku okay'.. tp x leh jalan gak.. sesampai suatu tahap aku dah terDOZe off kat depan PC tuh. last2 PC tu dok tenung aku.. haha.. erk.. ader org perasan dak?? ader ker? hehe, apa2 pun aku bukan sengaja.. aku pun dah try bangun jalan sana-sini takmo bagi ngantuk..

Cuma kelakar je sbb aku nih kalau dah mengantuk tahap REM, dgn dok atas kerusi pun leh terlelap.. dok tegak2 lak tuh still boleh tido.. hahaha.. and ini bukan kejadian pertama tau.. meh aku nak flashback balik...

FLaSHBaCK #1
Masa form 5.. dalam kelas modern maths.. Mr Lau dok tengah explain kat papan hitam kat depan kelas tuh.. aku yg mmg duduk di row hadapan sekali (cheh konon2 budak pandai lah tu.. :P) betul2 kat depan blackboard dengan penuh konsentrasi dok mendengar aper yg cikgu aku dok explain.. adoi cikgu can u speak more clearly aaa?? hehe.. cikgu aku nih kalo ngajar sure terpelat jugak cakapnyer.. i.e. 'jejari' jadik 'jejali'.. hehe.. anyway, aku dah beberapa kali terlelap semasa cikgu nih mengajar.. emm.. tak tau naper ekk?? cuma kelas nih je yg aku terlelap.. yg peliknye, sambil aku dok concentrate and pegang pen nak salin notes pun aku leh tertido.. haha.. magiks sungguh.. sib baik la cikgu aku tak panggil je nama aku.. emm.. dia perasan ke tak?? hehe.. cuma kalo aku ingat balik mmg aku tersenyum jer sorg2..

FLaSHBaCK #2
Kelas mengaji (masa kecik2). Ada ustaz nih (x ingat dah nama dia) akan dtg ke rumah seminggu sekali utk mengajar kami adik-beradik mengaji. Semasa menunggu giliran utk sorg demi sorg membaca balik ayat2 yg diajar, kekdg tuh aku terdoze off (owwhh, spt biasa lah tu.. hehe.. huh, kecik2 dah pandai titun2 depan cikgu tgh mengajar kan??.. manalah tak terbawak-bawak sampai waktu sekolah.. :P) TAPI.. ada tapi nyer, bukan aku jer yg tertido masa mengaji.. kekdg tuh, ustaz tu pun terlelap gaks semasa dok menunggu kitowang nih mengaji.. kihkihkih.. kami adik-beradik selalu perasan ustaz tuh terlelap.. kekdg tuh sampai kepala ustaz tu pun dah nak terlentok sebelah.. hehe.. (issh.. x baiknyer aku nih.. tp aku just nak citer je kan?? hehe) anyway, adik lelaki aku selalu je ngelat, kalo terkena turn dia n ustaz tuh terlelap.. adik aku akan baca ayat yg awal2 jer.. pastu diam.. pastu bila ternampak ustaz tuh cam nak terjaga, cepat2 adik aku baca ayat yg last2 yg disuruh baca.. chess.. pandai main trick, takmo baca pepjg... :P

Actually, ada lagi a few instances yg aku terlelap.. hehe.. tp xmo la citer.. dua citer dah cukup dah kan??

p/s: nak tido awal ler malam nih supaya x mengantuk besok (konon jer tuh :P)

TaLKiNg To ThYSeLF - aBNoRMaLiTy?

2006-10-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

Am i weird if i talk to myself or is this something normal? Just something that i pondered about today. Actually, masa kat ofis siang tadi, aku nak gi jumpa bos mintak dia tolong sign on my timesheet. Eventually, there was someone in his room masa aku passed by. Then, aku pun balik ker my workstation while mumbling something like "la, baru je nak jumpa boss tapi ada orang lain pulak kat bilik dia.. emm, nak kena sign timesheet tuh.. gaji lom dapat lagi nih..."

Alamak tetiba, my friend S who was sitting at my place terdengar aku cakap sorg2.. and dia pun tergelak and said "aaahh... linda cakap sorang2.. hehehe" owwhh.. was i that LOUD? sampaikan dia leh dengar.. tapi rasa2nya takde la aku cakap kuat2 sgt.. emm, but maybe my mumbling to them sounded like i'm speaking to myself..

Pastuh mula dua org lain menyampuk. en Z pulak cakap "haa.. mmg dah lama perasan yg linda nih suka cakap sorg2.. kang nanti org lain kata linda ni gila" huhuhu.. sedey nyer aku.. boleh jadik gila ke kalo cakap sorg2?

Then yg sorg lagi ckp "well.. at least linda tak membebel kuat2" some words of consolation..

Ala, camne nih?? am i weird like they say? orang lain tak buat camtuh ker? aku rasa aku dah terbiasa kot.. sejak dari dulu lagi.. actually it's more of a mumbling but the words came out clearer and sounded as if i'm talking to myself.. am i going crazy? huhuhu.. sedeynyer aku..

p/s: aku tak nak jadik gila laaa...

ThE FuNkY MaKeOvEr - A TriBuTe

2006-10-02T22:31:00.000+08:00
Last weekend, my big sis and i hired an interior decorator to help us out in redecorating our bedroom. This guy had truly settled our decorating dilemmas. Anyway, Nana, Zaza, myself and not forgetting little Muhammad would like to take this opportunity to give a big, BIG Thanks to FARHY for figuring out how to redecorate our room and turn it into something funky and wonderful.

Please do visit the transformation here - FuNkY MaKeOvEr

p/s: still can't believe within 2 days our room had really, really transformed!!! This is a must see..

A is FoR ALLAH FRoM YuSuF iSLaM

2006-09-28T21:59:00.000+08:00
assalamualaikum..
Nasyid nih selalu aku nyanyi masa sekolah menengah dulu (still remember til now)..Anyway, lagu nih is one of the earliest song sung by Yusuf Islam.. A really good song to teach to little kids.. (even aku pun suka lagie.. hehe).. do watch the video..

"HeLLo, i'M CaLLiNG FRoM UKM"

2006-09-27T22:40:00.001+08:00
"kak Linda please call me back", adik aku called from her handphone. Aku pun dialled her number. Tetiba jer ada suara lain yang menjawab.. "Hi, is this ***linda?"... "Yes, speaking..," jawab aku. emm, pelik.. bukan aku dial number adik aku ker tadik??.. conpius sekezap..

"Hello, i'm calling from UKM library. It seems that you have borrowed some books and forgot to return them", kata minah tu... Aku pun makin heran.. aku nii dah lama dah grad from UKM.. dah 2 tahun dah.. aper pulak nih kes pinjam-meminjam buku neh?? setau aku, kalau nak grad, kena la settle kan hutang piutang (kalau ada) kat bahagian Bendahari, baru boleh grad.. emm.. saper la pulak nak memainkan aku nih.. takpe, takpe.. baik aku layan jer minah ni dulu.

"I don't think I borrowed any books from the library. May, i know who's on the line?", saje je aku tanya minah tu. "This is Mashitah. Yes, you did borrow some books and forgot to return them.", tegas suara minah tu.. Adodoi.. aper nih??

Nak tergelak pun ada.. suara bukan typical melayu langsung.. slang2 cino tetap ada.. ches.. emm.. tapi suara minah ni cam pernah aku dengar la.. tapi di mana yea??? aku pun pk, punye pk, punye pk... haaa.. *light bulb moment* ni sah2 minah ni..

"Oits, you don't bluff me aaa... is this Loi Ming??"... "No, this is Mashitah", jawab minah tu lagie..

iyerla tu Loi Ming.. ko mmg takleh nak tipu kak Linda ko nih.. aku cam sore ko tuh..

"Ini Loi Ming kan?? Jangan nak tipu kak Linda yer.. i know it's you!!!"..

A'ahh.. memang seperti yang dijangkakan it was Loi Ming on my sister's mobile.. She came all the way from Kajang just to see me today. (ala terharunya.. sob, sob..) Unfortunately, i was at the office when she called.

But, aku dpt gak jumpa ngan long lost fren aku nih waktu lunch tadik (ait, aku pose tau.. aku jumpa dia masa lunch break.. jgn salah anggap.. hehe).. Excited kemain lagie... Happy tu tok sah nak habaq laa..

Uihh.. lama tau tak jumpa ngan die nih.. almost 2 years.. mana idaknye, the last time aku call dia..tapi dia laks yg tak jawab2 call aku.. aku pun tak mo ler kaco sbb waktu tu aku tau maybe she needs time to be alone..

Apparently, dia pun try to contact aku, and as usual la aku nyer hotmail account dah deactivated (akibat dah lama sgt tak diguna).. handphone mmg dah disconnected.. so nyer, Loi Ming yg masih lagi ingat jalan utk drive ke rumahku, sampai la kat rumah aku tadik around kul sebelas lebey... sib baik adik aku, ieja ada kat umah and dia still ingat Loi Ming nih.. mmg terkezut la dia sbb Loi Ming dtg.. anak buah aku, muhammad pun terkujat jugaks.. hehe

Loi Ming & Me at McD's Bangi (after graduation rehearsal 2004)

Loi Ming is one of my best friends masa i studied at UKM. We met masa aku final sem sbb masa tuh aku kena buat tesis yg ada kena mengena ngan projek IRPA. So, nyer aku ditempatkan sebilik ngan Loi Ming, Syikin and Lin.. *aargghhh rindunyeerr kat korang bertiga*.. Walaupun umur kitorg berempat nih berbeza-beza (aku being the eldest ler) tp semuanya sekepala.. otak krek dan mengong sket.. pastu suke mengenakan prof yg dtg menjenguk kat kabin tuh...

[note: kabin nih ialah kontena yg mcm kat construction site tuh and diletakkan berhampiran ngan fakulti kejuruteraan UKM. Posisinya betul2 opposite cafe kejut tuh.. manalah idak aku terlebih-lebih mengembang waktu tuh sbb bila stress sket je gi beli makanan kat cafe tuh.. asyik makan je badan pun naik gemokss.. oppss tersidetrack pulaks.. hehe.. anyways, aku dpt sebilik ngan budak2 pandai nih utk siapkan akunye sistem utk tesis aku]

emm.. cuma aku happy sgt hari nih sebab dpt jumpa kawan aku.. walaupun di lazer kaw2 punye sebab tak contact dier, aku tetap epi ari nih.. To Loi Ming, if you read this.. k Linda selalu ingat kat u laa.. rindu maaa.. i admit i was a bad fren sbb x contact u.. tp ada reasons nye gak.. (ehem2.. paham kan??) but, this time k Linda will try my best to keep in touch with u gals.. especially U! As u said, fingers crossed and it's a deal..

LeSSoN LeaRNeD FoR ToDaY:-
Kalau nak kekalkan persahabatan, memang perlukan sedikit pengorbanan..
Kena ada commitment utk keep in touch & updated with each other's life..
Kena ada give and take between each parties..
Kalau tiada usaha2 tersebut, maka hancurlah persahabatan itu..

p/s: to all my long lost friends out there, please forgive me for not keeping in touch with u.. do email me coz i'd love to know what's been going on with ur life..

WHaT WaS i THiNKiNG??

2006-09-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

i remembered jotting in my blog that i wanna write sumething (bits & pieces) about my recent relationship with my x. emm.. but now, come to think of it.. i don't think i'd like to share it with the world cause i don't wanna dwell in the depths of my painful past.. and i don't wanna relive thru the emotional roller-coaster that i had gone through. Duh, and as if i don't have anything else better to write about. Yup, from today, i wanna have a positive outlook in life.. insya Allah.

FoRGiVe & FoRGeT
emm.. i had forgiven him. i already forgave him for what he had done to me and he did admit that he was wrong.. but alas, this relationship had to end since i can't go on living in misery. forgiving him is okay but the forgetting part is really difficult.. here's something that i've been feeling for quite awhile which i simply need to write down and have closure...

I had forgiven you....
The one who had disrupted my life
and put me thru agony with such abusive words...

The one who altered my thinking
until i too perceived myself as someone who is not worthy of love,
not worthy of myself and not worthy of anyone else..

The one who said that he loved me
but at the same time not accepting me for who i am
and who i wanna be...

The one who always see the bad
instead of the good side of me...

I had forgiven you...
I truly had forgiven you...

But I'm trying to forget those harsh words
and those insensitive remarks
that had turned me into someone else..

It's really hard for me to forget...

Now, i'm picking up pieces of me
that have been torn apart...
Now, i'm struggling to be normal again..
Now, i'm learning to be happy..

So, please don't enter into my life..again..
or even in my dreams...

Enough is enough...
This relationship had ended..
and there's no more 'us'..
There's no more 'we'..
It's over between you and me..
Full-stop.

p/s: not trying to be poetic, but those are just my thoughts which have been kept in my heart for so long.. and i need to let go...

SaLaM RaMaDHaN

2006-09-24T22:37:00.000+08:00
1 RAMADHAN 1427

Ramadhan menjenguk kembali..
Alhamdulillah aku masih disini..
Bulan yang mulia dan penuh berkat..
Diharap aku mendapat manfaat..
Untuk memperbaiki diri..
Dan untuk mencari keredhaan Ilahi..

p/s:Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan 1427 untuk semua umat Islam di dunia.

MaSa KeCiK2

2006-09-20T01:03:00.000+08:00

Masa kecik2 aku suka tengok awan. Di waktu petang aku akan melepak di padang depan rumah. (kecik2 dah pandai lepak..hehe) Aku suka tengok awan, suka sangat2. Aku boleh lihat kepulan awan dekat langit yang biru seperti kapas putih ala2 cotton candy kalau dijual kat fun-fair. Emm.. dan aku mula bermain dengan imaginasiku.. Cuba menggambarkan bentuk2 awan yg berubah-ubah.. Kadangkala ada yg berbentuk seperti muka manusia, ada yg berbentuk seperti haiwan dan ada yg berbentuk seperti kenderaan.. emm.. macam2 ada.. Seronoknye aku..

Masa kecik2 aku suka main bola sepak. Aku main bola sepak dgn abg dan adik laki2 aku. Walaupun hanya menjadi gollie, aku bermain dengan
semangat yang jitu dan berkobar-kobar "Yeaa.. Dapat aku tangkap bola tuh dari menerobos masuk pintu gol..." Terre nye aku...

Masa kecik2 aku suka panjat pokok rambutan kat kampung di Guar Chempedak. Pokok rambutan tu tak la tinggi sangat. Semuanya gara2 nak makan buah rambutan tang2 tu jugak. Last2 kena pi klinik sebab terkena hama ulat bulu kat pokok.. abis kulit aku naik ruam2 gatal berbiji-biji.. "Emm.. nasib baik tok wan tak hambat aku.." Itulah first and last aku panjat pokok. Nakalnya aku..

Masa kecik2 aku suka main congkak kat atas tanah bawah rumah tok wan. Aku and the geng akan buat lubang2 kat tanah. Pastu ambik biji2 getah untuk bermain congkak. Baru je bermain beberapa round dah kena panggil ngan emak. "Haa.. tengoklah budak nih habis tangan dia kotor.. dah pi mandi" dah kena leteran emak. Habis jari-jemariku dan kuku dimasuki tanah hitam. Tapi keesokannya aku main lagi. Degilnya aku..

Masa kecik2 aku suka makan nasi panas2 dengan kicap dan marjerin planta. "Emm.. sedapnya" Kalo makan hari2 pun takpe.. Sempoi nye aku..

hehehe.. hari tu masa gi surau kat opis, aku duk kat tepi tingkap sambil bersandar kat dinding untuk rehat sekejap sebelum solat.. pastu aku melemparkan pandanganku di luar tingkap dan aku hanya dapat lihat langit dan awan.. tetiba teringat masa kecik2.. mengimbaukan saat2 manis masa kanak2 riang ria ribena.. itu yang nak tulis kisah2 happy masa kecik2.. :)

Cuma aku terpikir senang aje aku boleh happy.. benda2 yg simple dan biasa2 sahaja dah buatkan aku teruja, bahagia dan gembira.. bestnya jadi kanak2.. tak terbeban dengan masalah.. hidup happy je kan?

Tapi sekarang nih kadang2 aku lupa untuk jadi happy.. kadang2 terlalu serius.. kenapa yeaa? tapi rasa2nya jiwa kanak2 tu masih ada dalam diri.. cuma terkurung sebab dah jadi dewasa.. huhuhu

p/s: aktiviti tengok awan masih lagi hobi aku.. cuma skrg nih mcm kurg waktu utk luangkan masa and melihat awan..

KaLaU DaH SaMPai WaKtu

2006-09-19T00:23:00.000+08:00
Pagi ni (18/9/06) masa aku kat ofis around 9 something, i received an email from my sister. She informed me that there was an accident which occurred near her office @ CIMB. Apparently a car fell down from a hill onto an open parking space between bangunan Amanah Raya and Commerce Square near Jalan Semantan. Dalam kete tu was a lady and lepas kejadian tu dia sedar and sempat cakap something before she passed away... innalillah hiwa inna ilahi rojiun.

My sister told me that akak tu mmg selalu dtg awal and while waiting for the office to open, she'll take a nap in her car. Kete dia jatuh dari bukit which was about 8 floors high above the ground. Rasa terkejut.. i'm still trying to figure out macam mana boleh berlaku.. I saw the news on TV3 malam tadi and tengok kat area dia parking tu mmg takde barrier kat tebing bukit tuh.. there's only a pavement which is about 0.2 meters high yg macam kat tepi kaki jalan tu.. my brother said that maybe dia nak tekan brek but tertekan minyak so kete tuh ternaik atas kaki lima jalan tuh... my sis also added that, jalan kat situ mmg licin sikit and malam semalam kan hujan..

Aku terkejut sebab kakak tu meninggal dengan cara macam tuh. Kesian kat family yg dia tinggalkan.. My sis told me that she was a friendly person. Kalau kat surau tu, she'll be the one yg nak tegur org lain dulu.. I feel really sad.. Masa tengok news tadi rasa nak nangis..air mata dah bergenang dah.. tp itu semua ketetapan Allah kan.. kalau ia nak berlaku, ia akan berlaku juga..

al-Fatihah to allahyarhamah Norhalili Yahya.. moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan di kalangan org2 yg soleh..

p/s: Setiap yang bernyawa pasti akan merasai mati. Bagaimanalah aku nanti?? Diri ni memang tak bersedia lagi. Banyak lagi yg harus aku perbetulkan. Wahai diriku, insaflah dan beringatlah.. aku akan kembali jua kepadaNya

MiGRaiNeS - con't to ULaT2

2006-09-13T18:43:00.000+08:00
Hari nih aku cuti sakit. Dari semalam lagi lepas waktu lunch aku rasa lain macam je. Bila aku bangun dari kerusi aku rasa dizzy, rasa giddy and rasa macam nak pitam. Aku sempat berpaut pada meja untuk menahan diriku dari jatuh. Rasa itu bertambah dengan sakit kepala yang berdenyut-denyut. Ada a few times aku rasa camtuh tapi aku cuba bertahan memandangkan keje2 kat opis banyak lagi and rakan sekerja dua2 tak datang sebab m.c. Alhamdulillah managed to go thru the day. Cuma balik rumah semalam sakit kepala tuh makin teruk. Oh no, this is a migraine attack. Dah lama aku tak kena migraine. Rasa berdenyut-denyut kat kepala macam ada org ketuk2 ngan hammer (maybe teeny-weeny bit exaggerated). Apa lagi yg boleh ku buat hanyalah berbaring dlm bilik yg senyap dan gelap.

So, pagi nih bila aku bangun dari tido, still rasa nak pitam lagi.. terpaksa berpaut pada furniture2 and dinding tuk menuju bilik air. Akhirnya, sebab dah tak tertahan aku pun pk elok aku x gi keje ari nih. Aku pun gi klinik utk check-up. Aku bgtau kat doktor pasal rasa nak pitam and pening kepala aku tuh. Doktor pun check aku nye blood pressure and confirm normal je. Dia tanya aku makan tak semalam. Semalam mmg aku makan, takde pun skip meals. Emm, doktor kata takde apa2 and dia hanya prescribed ubat sakit kepala which one of it is paracetamol and dua jenis ubat lain.. For sure ubat2 tuh pain killer je which aku betul2 tak suka nak makan.. sebab dulu ada one length of time tu aku consume ponstan dgn kerap (of course sbb migraines)

Balik je rumah aku pun terpk-pk... emm, Allah bagi aku sakit.. tentu aku dah buat silap Astaghfirullah al-azim... memang ada silap.. aku ada strong feeling maybe disebabkan posting aku sebelum nih.. pasal ulat2..

Astaghfirullah.. siapalah aku untuk memperlekehkan ciptaanMu Ya Allah.. Tidak seharusnya aku takut pada selainMu Ya Allah.. Ulat itu juga yang akan memamah tubuhku tatkala aku mati dan jasadku berada di dalam perut bumi..

Aku mmg dah rasa tak sedap hati je dari semalam. Apa yang terlintas dalam hati aku, mmg Allah mengetahui. Apa yg aku lakukan, mmg Allah mengetahui.. Rasa betapa teruknya aku niiih..
"Ya Allah, ampunkan daku atas segala keterlanjuran kata-kataku samada yang dizahirkan dengan lidah atau pun diterbitkan oleh hatiku yang lemah ini. Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Besar dan menciptakan makhluk dengan sebaik-baik ciptaan"...

p/s: Sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui apa yang tersirat dan tersurat dalam hati seseorang walaupun sekecil-kecil zarah. Ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa hambamu yang lemah ini.

uLaT OoWwHh uLaT

2006-09-11T23:13:00.000+08:00
Skang kat Kay Ell nih time pepetang asek ujan jer.. time hujan2 nih membuatkan aku flashback kat kisah ulat dan suku-sakat ulat yg seangkatan dengannya.. apa yg nak dipaparkan adalah kesah benar.. Jangan lakukannye especially to budak keciks yg still tgh minum susu botol..

Edisi Siasat - Kuala Lumpur, Ahad, 17 Disember
Seorang ibu telah mempergunakan taktik baru untuk memberhentikan anak perempuannya daripada meminum susu botol. Sebelum ini, ibu tersebut telah mencuba pelbagai cara untuk menyogokkan anaknya supaya berhenti menyusu botol tetapi semuanya tidak berhasil. Namun, pada pagi semalam ibu tersebut telah berjaya di dalam tugasnya. Dia telah meletakkan beberapa ekor ulat beras yang berwarna putih ke dalam botol susu yang kosong dan diberikan botol tersebut kepada anaknya. Anak kecil yang ingin meminum susu terus membaling botol tersebut selepas melihat ada makhluk-makhluk halus yang menguik-uik di dalamnya.

Eeeww... anak saper lah tu??.. haha.. Itu Aaaakkuuu (bunyikan cam lagu Sheila On 7).. itulah, aku tak tau la kenapa aku leh kalah ngan sekecik-kecik makhluk.. sebenarnya aku geli sbb ulat tuh kecik sgt2.. and kalo tersentuh jer kat kulit pasti akan ku menjerit sekuat2 hati!.. (ohh Noo, the thought of it pun dah menaikkan rasa geli-geleman kat tengkuk aku)

My mum did apologised for what she did.. dia ckp dia terpaksa wat camtuh, sebab dia tak dpt nak balik kg n dptkan air ubat kat allahyarham atok aku tuk bg minum kat aku.. abisla.. sampai skrg nih takleh nak get rid of the ketakutan pada ulat.. akak aku sungguh nakal, pernah dia bagi kat aku rambutan yg ada ulat.. apa lagi, aku tarus membaling buah tu, menjerit n terus lari masuk bilik n kunci pintu bilik..

Time skrg nih aku cuba la nak kurg kan rasa takut kat ulat.. cam time kalo aku masuk dapur and tgh siang sayur.. pernah skali tu aku siang sayur sawi.. memula tu nampak la sekor ulat.. aku pun cuba kontrol 'macho'.. pastu ada lagi sekor.. dan lagi dan lagi.. aku pun terus bgtau mak aku "Emak, linda tak boleh nak siang sayur sawi nih mak... ada byk ulat..".. pastu terus pelan2 aku letak pisau tuh and terus masuk dalam.. Mmg mak aku memahami aku.. takde pun dia nak bebel2.. alhamdulillah..

Apa lak kaitan ngan hujan.. actually sket je.. masa time study kat colorado, especially time summer.. lebey2 lagi lepas waktu hujan.. ada sekali tu baru je lepas hujan.. aku nak gi kelas, quite jauh gak dari apartment aku.. kalo jalan kaki kat 1/2 jam la gak.. anyway, aku jalan la.. pastu on the way to class, aku jalan la kat pavement yg selalu aku redah.. kiri, kanan rumput hijau.. pastu tetiba mataku tertumpu kat satu benda dok bergerak-gerak atas simen jalan tu.. warna kecokelat-cokelatan.. menguik-nguik.. ewwww... gelinyeeeerrr.. betul sangkaanku.. Giant earth worms!!! aku pon pijak kat tempat yg takde cacing.. memula ada satu jer.. lama2 punyala byk yg aku nampak.. bersepah-sepah kat jalan tu.. aku pun jalan terjengket-jengket cuba elak dari memijak earth worms tersebut.. dah jadik mcm jack nicholson dlm cite as good as it gets.. part yg dia takleh pijak jalan yg ada cracks.. mmg sebijik la aku cam dia waktu tuh.. Owhh.. bukan aper, kalo aku terpijak aku terasa cam cacing tuh akan masuk kat dlm kasut aku and terus masuk kat tapak kaki aku... cam tapak kaki aku nih ada holes lak.. eeeeewwwww gilenyeeerrrr! sib baik time tuh aku sorg2 je gi kelas.. kalo gi ngan kawan2 aku sure kena gelaks kaw2 punyer..

Moral of the story is, janganla bagi kat aku ulat ke cacing ke ulat beluncas ke ulat sampah ke ulat bulu ke dan yg se'phat' family dengannya.. gerenti aku akan marah ngan sesape yg wat camtuh.. Mmg aku nih akan 'fail' kalo masuk fear factor.. kalo tgk kat tv yg ada challenge ngan maggots pun aku dah geli.. real-life lagi la tak leh handle..

p/s: harap2 aku tak menakutkan sesiapa.. yg masih lagi takut ialah diriku sendiri.. uhuk.. uhukk..

BaSiC SciEnCe 101

2006-09-10T22:10:00.000+08:00
Aku dpt e-mel nih dari akak aku... Funny betullah jawapan budak2 nih...

Do read through these Children's Science Exam Answers. Please bear in mind, they're not finished with their education. Does law school await? I think we can rule out any physicians or scientists in the crowd.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O & U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word " benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

p/s: sometimes, we need to take a break.. and laughing at jokes is surely the best medicine!

MonDaY BLuES KeR?

2006-09-10T18:56:00.000+08:00
Haa... besok ari isnin.. kene keje la beb.. aku suke tengok gelagat kakak aku.. kalo tiba hari ahad and esok nak keje, dia selalu je rasa a bit unmotivated to work.. boleh dikatakan monyyookk je.. kalo org ajak kuar on sunday nite sure menentang keras2nye sbb esok isnin and dia nak keje.. selalu dia bagik reason that she needs time to rest.. pastu stress sbb dok pk nak keje esok.. hehehe.. kelakarlah akak aku niiih.. tp skrg dah kurang sket la maybe sbb dah masuk department laen..

tetiba lak aku teringat kisah masa sekolah menengah.. masa tu aku form 2.. hari tu hari isnin.. cikgu maths Cik Azizah baru je masuk kelas.. masa tu period ketiga.. aku dan kebanyakan kawan2 aku dlm kelas semuanya macam hilang konsentrasi hari tu.. ada yg mengantuk la, ada yg dah nak tertido la, ada yg dok sibuk buat menda laen la, ada yg mengelamun la.. emm.. macam2 fiil.. semua dah tak bersemangat.. hanya disebabkan hari tu hari isnin.. the 1st day of the week..

Cik Azizah yang mmg terkenal ngan suara nyaringnya tetiba je menjerit, "Awak semua nih tak bersemangat langsung! Cikgu dah perhatikan, hampir setiap minggu pada hari Isnin, awak semua memang macam ni. Semuanya hilang tumpuan dalam kelas! Tak kisah la hari tu hari Isnin ke hari Jumaat ke hari Sabtu atau hari apa2 sekali pun.. semuanya sama sahaja.. Yang berbezanya hanya MASA!".

Alamak, tersentap aku.. hilang terus rasa mengantuk aku waktu tuh.. Semua yang dalam kelas tu pun terkejut, terus duduk tegak2.. tapi Cikgu aku tak puas hati.. Dia suruh kitorg semua berdiri.. Pastu kena buat ketuk-ketampi 20 kali.. haa.. mmg padan muka la semua org hari tu..

Tapi bagus jugaklah cikgu aku buat macam tuh.. Kalo tak sure aku tak sedar2 jugak.. Betullah cakap cikgu aku tuh.. Sebenarnya tiada bezanya hari Isnin ke, hari Selasa ke, hari Rabu ke, hari Khamis ke, hari Jumaat ke, hari Sabtu ke atau hari Ahad.. apa yang membezakan hanya MASA.. Memang aku ingat pesanan Cikgu Azizah selepas dia dah reda kemarahannya, gunakanlah masa dengan sebaik2nya kerana masa yang berlalu tak akan kembali..

p/s: emm.. aku perasan yg sekarang nih masa berlalu dgn cepat sgt2.. kdg2 tak terkejar nak buat sesuatu perkara dalam sesuatu masa.. emm.. so many things to do and yet so little time.. adakah ini tanda2 ...???

LiFe iN tHe PReSeNt-DaY

2006-09-10T16:39:00.000+08:00
Just a little bit 'bout myself. Skang nih i'm doing something which is totally different from what i studied. Aku amik biz & IT but rite now aku buat keje related to accounting.. tp mmg aku tak kisah langsung pasal aku mmg suka ngan tempat keje skang nih.. and eventhough the job is routine, aku rasa keje tuh quite challenging jugakla sbb ada target2 tertentu yg aku kena capai dlm setiap bulan. As for the future, emm.. mmg dok pk nak wat biznes. insya Allah nak buat something ngan akak and adik pompuan aku.. tp x explore lagi the possibilites.

Aku mmg anak jati KL.. mmg dah dilahir dan dibesarkan kat sini. Cuma time belajar masa sekolah menengah, aku sorg je tercampak masuk boarding school..(uhuk..uhukk..sedey gaks..). Masih lagi tinggal ngan family and rumah yg kitorg stay skrg nih pun dah ikut umur aku.. haa.. umur ekk?? umurku rahsia.. hahaha. Tp kalo nak tau, aku dilahirkan betul2 sebulan selepas bekas PM yg ke2 kembali ke rahmatullah.. (al-fatihah kpd Allahyarham Tun Abdul Razak..moga rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang soleh..Amin..)

Emm... current status... i'm SINGLE and loving it! ;) Baru single balik dlm 5 bulan nih.. my last relationship lasted for 8 years..( Lama kan??) Antara aku ngan dia mmg ada byk sgt masalah, byk sgt konflik, byk sgt keperitan.. aku anggap hubungan aku ngan dia sebagai ujian dari Allah.. xpe, maybe one day i will tell the story, just bit & pieces yg aku takleh lupa and menjadi pengajaran buat diriku..

Itulah sedikit sebyk mengenai diriku skrg nih..

p/s:At present, i'm just living day-by-day as it is and treasuring each moment for just being alive.. Thank you Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful..

NiCkNaMeS

2006-09-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

Aku : Muhammad, cuba sebut mak lang linndaa

Muhammad, my nephew senyap jer..

Aku : Muhammad, cuba sebut mak laangg liinnddaaa

Muhammad: Da, Da..

Masa tuh nephew aku baru 1 yr +, baru je mula nak cakap.. Jenuh nak ajar budak kecik supaya sebut nama auntie dier betul2.. At last, dia panggey Da-Da jer.. Itulah nickname aku kat umah skrg nih.. Tp walau apa2 pun aku suke nickname nih sbb terasa cam special sket.. yerla, anak buah yg bagik nama kan?? hehe.. tp my mum dulu2 selalu jer bising sbb anak buah dah tak panggil pangkat 'makcik' lagie.. emm, tp bagi aku mmg rasa cam best jeer.. sbb terasa muda.. hehe.. apa2 pun aku nak story nickname aku yg pernah org bagik dulu..

Yang But (pronounce as boot) - masa baby
ada nenek nih yg dok panggil nama nih kat aku masa kecik.. dah tanya my mum "naper nenek tu panggil yang but?".. my mum ckp, "maybe sbb linda bulat kot".. tp mmg betul pun aku paling bulat.. ala2 mcm logo tayar michelin tuh kalau tak pun mcm pillsbury dough boy.. so, aku rasa Yang But tu short form utk Yang Bulat la.. tekaan aku jer..

Bulat - masa tadika & zaman sekolah rendah
ala.. ada la neighbour aku, abg nen nih, dok panggil aku Bulat.. sebabnya, muka aku bulat, pastu nak ditambah dgn kebulatan aku tuh lagi, rambut aku dibuat fesyen ala topi keledar.. seingat aku la, abg nen tu siap buat lagu lagi "bulat, bulat.. bulat, bulat.. banyak isinya" uwaaahh.. mmg sedey betul la...

Linda Green - masa form 1 to 3
kenapalah pulak ada green ekk?? aku belajar kat TKC dari form 1-5.. anyway, masa masuk form 1 tu, punyalaaa ramai yg ada nama Linda.. (mmg la nama Linda nih nama yg paling common sgt2) disebabkan aku masuk rumah hijau, jadi adalah ditambah green kat belakang nama aku tuh.. nih aku list down nama2 kawan aku yg ada Linda jugak and nickname dorg..

Yuslinda - YUS
Sazlinda - SAZ
Nina Haslinda - NINA
Reezlinda - REEZ
Norhaslinda - LINDA BLUE (sbb dia masuk rumah biru)

Linda Ting - masa form 4 to 5
haa.. nak dijadikan cerita, aku nih sekelas la pulak ngan Linda Blue.. so takkan nak panggil green and blue lakkan?? so, kekwn aku pun panggil aku Linda Ting sbb aku Tinggi and kwn aku tu Linda Tong sbb Tonggek (dia suka menari tarian tradisional time tuh bukan pasal menda lain pulak :P).. emm.. sampaikan cikgu aku pun panggil aku Ting!

Pipit - masa 1st year kat MSM Kuantan
ini mmg lain dari yg lain.. ada ke patut budak2 laki panggil aku Pipit?! tak best langsung.. geram pun ada.. tp sebenarnya dorg panggil camtuh sbb aku ada dimple on my cheeks.. yg sebelah kanan lebih obvious dari sebelah kiri.. nak dijadikan cite laks, my 1st bf dolu nickname nye Bangau (sebab kaki dia panjang and dia kurus).. emm.. elok ler tuh.. dah jadik burung lah pulak..

tu jer la.. so right now, i'll stick with Linda @ Da-Da jer.. emm.. ingat lak masa study kat U dulu (kat colorado maa).. masa aku keje part-time jadik assistant tukg masak.. ada pakcik mexican nih cakap Linda tu maksudnya 'Pretty' dlm bahasa depa.. maknanyer kalo gurl tu cantik panggil 'linda' bonita.. hehe..

p/s: harap2 lepas nih takde lagi nama2 pelik yg melekat kat aku.. hehe..

InTrO tO BitTeRSwEeT CoKeLat

2006-09-08T22:04:00.000+08:00
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I'm a first timer, tak pernah pun terpk nak have my own blog sebelum nih.. so, memula sekali, kalo ada pape kekurangan tuh, paham2 jerlah..

Aku ter'inspired' nak wat blog nih dari kawan rapat aku ler.. sbb aku terkomen pepjg kat blog dier ari tuh, sib baik member aku tuh jenis kewl jer.. hehe.. isk, kalo dak, tak tau ler.. sure kena sound baik punyer sbb bebel pjg sgt..

So, aku pun pk punye pk nak bubuh nama aper la kat blog aku nih (sampai tak tido malam tuh.. iyealah tu ).. and finally i came out with bittersweetcokelat.. Nama ni dipilih sbb aku peminat cokelat.. Tu jer.. takde nak memeningkan kepala kan? ;)

I've gone thru a lot of x-p-riences.. tapi rasa2nya byk lagik yg aku tak x-p-rience nih.. so, akan ku coretkan kisah2 epi aku kat sini (ini for sure), and insya Allah kisah2 sedey aku and kisah2 pahit aku..

p/s: aku insan biasa, tak lari dari kesilapan, so kalau ada salah dan silap, harap dimaafkan