..:: BiTTeRSWeeT TwO-DouBLe-ZeRo-SiX ::..

Tup-tap tup-tap, dah sampai pun penghujung 2006 and today is the last day. Dang, how time flew like a blizzard.. cepatnyer. Reflecting back on this year, mmm, there were some bitter and sweet memories.

Yang bitter tuh, mak ngah (kakak abah aku) dah kembali ke rahmatullah. Berita pemergian dia memang mengejutkan kami sekeluarga. I was really, really sad. The last time I met her was during raya last year. Mak Ngah mmg dah sakit tua and tak larat dah nak berjalan sana-sini tapi disebabkan hari raya, mak ngah mmg berniat nak dtg beraya kat rumah kami. Sebelum mak ngah balik, aku pun salam, peluk cium tangan and kedua-dua pipi dia.. Lepas tu, dia tak lepaskan tangan aku. Sesekali dia tersenyum, kemudian memegang tangan aku dan mengusap-usap lenganku. Lama jugak dia buat camtuh. Kemudian, tetiba dia cakap kat aku..

"Mak Ngah dah tak lama dah... Lepas ni tak dapat nak jumpa lagi" nadanya spt bergurau..

"Eh Mak Ngah ni, jangan la cakap macam tuu.. InsyaAllah kita akan jumpa lagi.." sapa aku.. rasa tersentap pun ada.. sedih pun ada sbb mak ngah cakap macam tu.. tp aku diamkan saje..

Tapi mmg benar seperti kata2 Mak Ngah. Belum sempat kami nak bersua lagi, arwah telah pergi meninggalkan kami dan pemergiannya masih kami rasai. Al-fatihah buat Mak Ngah. Moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yg beriman. Al-fatihah.

Yang sweetnyer this year.. I think the most valuable gift that I'd given myself is the gift of FREEDOM.. :-) After several break-ups and make-ups, I finally had the courage to end the mostly-emotionally-and-sometimes-physically-abusive-relationship that I was in and it is definitely terminated for good. Aku ni bukannyer sorg yg kejam.. Chances were given to him many, many times (countless). He changed for quite a bit, but in the end he is still the same control-freak who finds happiness by torturing the one that he said he loves to death. Dah lama pun bersabar (8 tahun, x ke lama tuh? :-O) But I did learned a few things from having gone through this bad experience. I think I've become more stronger than I used to.. aku dapat rasakan yg aku nih lebih tabah and lebih sabar untuk hadapi situasi yang lebih challenging pas nih. One more thing is, walau macam mana pun, aku tau aku takleh nak 'ubah' sesorg tu.. Only that person can change for him/herself. Alhamdulillah, everything that happened to me, happens for a reason. Kalau nak pikir negatif, mmg byk perkara yg negatif tapi kan lebey elok kalau kita pikir yg positif atas setiap musibah yg berlaku kat diri kita, kan??

That one particular relationship ended but it brought about many new friendships and renewed the bond that was once lost with old friends. Aku rasa happy sgt2 sebab dapat kenal kawan2 baru and dapat jumpa balik kawan2 lama.. Especially, my friends kat MCC Kuantan dulu.. adik-beradik ku yg dah lama x jumpa.. huhuhu.. bukannya tak ndak jumpa korg but after i was not allowed to contact with any of my frens by my ex, aku pun tak berani nak contact korang sebab aku nak avoid confrontations.. (bayangkanlah, masa dolu takleh nak pakai handphone beb.. definitely a no-no.. kalo nak jugak, abis la perang besar) Alhamdulillah dpt gak jumpa korang masa raya open house kat rumah along hari tu.. I always loved u guys and missed u guys a lot!!

Raya 2006 with adik-beradiks @ along's house

Other than that, aku pun dapat jumpa kengkawan masa kat UKM dulu. Actually, ari tu aku dah janji ngan Loi Ming to visit Syikin yang baru aje lepas operation (masa bulan Syawal gak). Kitorg pun pegila Hospital Putrajaya on one fine Saturday morning to visit her. Punyalah pandai the both of us sebab tak call dulu b4 going there (konon2 nak wat surprise lah tu :P) Ended up, kitorg yg surprised becoz Syikin dah kuar wad ari tuh.. hahaha, mmg tergelak besar la masa tuh.. So, Loi Ming and I pegilah pulak lunch kat Alamanda (mmm, xdela spesel sgt pun kat situ ek? tp aku pon x abes jejalan kat situ.. :P) and then decided nak kaco sorg lagi kawan kitorg, Lin yg mmg dok kat Putrajaya. Sib baik Lin ada kat rumah.. tengah sarat lagi.. (oh ye, Lin baru je delivered a baby girl.. alhamdulillah and tahniah to Lin and family :-)).. After that baru la jumpa Syikin.. and lastly Loi Ming ajak pulak gi rumah Mr Faidzul (my lecturer and oso supervisor tuk thesis dulu).. Kitorg sesedap aje lepak kat rumah En Faidzul and his wife Mastura with their new baby girl.. lepak punye lepak sampai siap makan dinner lagi.. hehehe, muka tak malu sungguh :P.. All in all it was really a long happy day for me.. A day well spent at Bangi, Putrajaya and Bandar Seri Mahkota.. ala rugi tak bawak kamera aje masa tuh.. (kalo dak sure amek pics byk2kan Loi Ming?)

Dat's about all.. Hopefully, the new year will bring more joy and happiness.. insyaAllah.